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I don’t claim to be an expert. Not by any means, but I thought it would be a good idea just to jot down a few things that I have learnt in my short time as a mom so far.
I am the proud mom of a 4-month-old girl. I know what you might be thinking, 4 months, what does she know about parenthood. Very little, actually. Or rather I definitely feel as though I know very little and definitely not enough yet and I get reminded of that fact every day when I learn something new while spending time with my daughter.
I remember frantically reading as much as I could about every topic out there before my little munchkin was born. Desperately trying to prepare myself for every eventuality. I asked every mom I knew for advice and guidance about everything; from which items of clothing to buy to how do you know if your child is getting too hot! Funny enough, the majority of answers were these; “Every child is different.” And “You will just know.” Now, me being the analytical borderline control freak that I am initially found it very hard to accept these answers. Today, though, I can say that they really are the two basic answers that encapsulate parenthood more beautifully than any magazine article, book, documentary and seminar out there.
“Why am I writing this then?” I ask myself as I sip on my third cup of coffee this morning. Well, in all honesty, I know that moms get a lot of advice from everyone out there. All you have to do nowadays is just Google a sentence and you get bombarded with answers and discussion forums. (Which freak you out more than they help you, might I add!) So, here it is. For every mom-to-be frantically reading as much as they can before the big day and for me, during (hopefully) my second pregnancy when I’m too emotional to think straight or remember what happened during the first one; a list of things that I have learnt thus far.
Your Preggy Pillow really is your best friend.
Ignore everyone telling you to just use pillows you already have around the house. You turn around a lot at night because of the weight on your hips while you sleep (and not to mention all the times you get up to pee), so it really helps to have one pillow that fits perfectly than to try and reposition ten smaller pillows every time you move.
It’s okay to cry!
During and especially after your pregnancy. It really is the only thing that helps! Especially for Diabetics, like me, because ice cream and chocolate is a big no-no during pregnancy.
Forget the fancy pajamas for your hospital stay.
Especially for caesarean moms. They tell you to pack them, but the elastic is too tight and uncomfortable. Just make peace with the fact that all you’ll be wearing are your hospital maternity panties and a large shirt.
Don’t bother with cute little outfits, bows, ribbons, hairbands and other frills.
Yes, it is awesome to play dress up, but it’s also uncomfortable. Not only for you, but for your munchkin as well. For the first few months, just stick to onesies… that button up, preferably. Trying to stick your baby’s little delicate arms and head through the sleeves just looks and feels awkward. Those little ribbons and bows also don’t stay on very long. The shirts and dresses also ride up when you pick your baby up or hand her to someone.
A baby play gym and a vibrating chair are your best friends!
Don’t leave them in there too long though, but it does really help if you need something to distract your little one and keep them occupied while you dart off to the loo quickly.
You can never have too many blankets, bibs and feeding lappies.
Especially from about 3 months onwards when they start eating everything they can get their little hands on. It’s wonderful to just throw the wet one in the wash and take a fresh one from the cupboard without worrying.
Linen savers are a fantastic cover for your changing mat.
Those mid-change pees and poops do happen! Placing a linen saver on the change mat allows you to quickly and easily clean the mess while doing the baby-hold-wipe juggling act.
It’s okay if breastfeeding is just not your thing.
Breastfeeding is awesome, for you and for your baby. It has incredible health benefits, but it really is okay if you want to stop, especially if it is affecting your relationship with your child. Don’t feel guilty!
It’s okay to not have everything together.
My husband and I went through a lot of peanut butter sandwiches during the first two weeks after having our little one home. Take time, settle in and get back into the flow of things in your own time. A new addition to the family really does change everything… Take some time to adapt and don’t be afraid to ask for help!
A backpack as a diaper bag works so much better than those sling ones.
No matter how cute those diaper bags look, a backpack is just so much more functional. You have both hands free and the weight is distributed evenly across your shoulders; which reduces back pain. You will be using your diaper bag as your new handbag, so the thing does get heavy and you need a lot of space.
So, there you have it, my top ten things that I have learnt thus far. There are so many other things I can list, but at the risk of this becoming a novel, I will list them quickly, without elaborating:
- You can never have too many wet wipes.
- On that note, some wet wipes are not user friendly. They smell nice, but are so difficult to actually get out of the pack while you do the baby-hold-wipe juggling act.
- I really wish maternity clothes rental was a thing. Seriously, it’s too expensive to buy and use only for a few months.
- Also, you can find regular clothes that will fit you. Never underestimate leggings and a wrap dress.
- Swelling really is a thing. Not just the swelling of the hands and feet… swelling EVERYWHERE!
- Spend time on pampering yourself. Paint your nails, do your hair, get a facial, go for it! You may feel like a whale, but you will feel like a pretty whale!
- Stock up on diapers! Many baby stores have a wonderful return policy where you can swop unopened packs of diapers for new ones.
- Be proud of your scars and stretch marks. They are battle scars and your body really did go to battle to be able to bring your baby into this world.
- Try to exercise as much as possible, within reason though. It really is difficult to be motivated to drag yourself to the gym or around the block, but the healthier you are, the quicker you heal and feel like yourself again after giving birth.
- It’s okay when your baby does not drink all the formula that you made. Formula is there to serve you, not for you to serve it. Eliminate that stress in your life and make peace with the fact that you will sometimes waste formula.
And above all, remember to be in the moment and enjoy your baby!
