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This article first appeared on Tauriq's blog.
To the men who catcall and those that dismiss catcall as compliments,
Seriously.
Seriously!?
Watch this video.
10 hours, in an average day in New York City, resulting in more than a 100 catcalls and targeting. Did you enjoy the two men who follow her for some time? How about that Romeo persevering for 5 solid minutes? Did you want to congratulate him for his persistence?
Did you see Guy #48 or maybe #89 wonder why he wasn’t being thanked for “paying her a compliment”?
Or what about Mr Man #98 or maybe #23 wondering why on Earth she wasn’t smiling more?
This happens to people. All the time. Actual people are hounded and harassed, whistled at and pointed at, followed and stalked, touched and fondled without consent. Men do this to women. Not (only) “weirdos”, not (only) “creeps” – men. Of every age, race, height, financial bracket.
Women can be wearing headphones and sunglasses, parkas and jackets – they will still be targeted. By now, if you think wardrobe curbs harassment, you’re not listening to what women are saying.
We men need to help stop this. We need to recognise this happens to women and we need to blame the men who harass – yes, harass, not compliment – not the women who they target. Women should be able to walk freely without feeling like they’re being tested, measured, assessed, and targeted.
No one gives a flying fuck that you think a strange woman is a hottie, is sexy, is looking good. No one gives two shits about your opinion about her appearance while she’s traveling. You’re not being nice, you’re adding to an environment we all know is unsafe for women. Your disregard for women’s sense of security is matched only by your inability to shut the fuck up.
Male entitlement is a poison and it’s on toxic display here, pouring out the idiot mouths of sleazebags who think they’re fucking Romeo. Well fuck Romeo, and fuck perseverance. You’re not Romeo or Mario, there’s no princess in a castle you “get” for digging in your heels and “standing strong” – i.e. following a strange woman for five goddamn minutes. What the fuck? What do you think will happen?
Why on Earth would you even want to spend time with someone who clearly does not want to spend time with you? Entitlement means never having to reflect that your “niceness”, you’re “not being a dick” maybe doesn’t mean you get sexy time with a woman of your choosing (indeed, it shows you’re not actually a nice guy at all); entitlement means believing that you “deserve” women, not that women can decide that you’re not interesting, you’re not attractive, that maybe you’re bit of a creep.
Hey, guess what: They’re allowed to. They owe you jack shit, mate.
You can stamp your feet all you want about how this one woman not giving you time of day is totally wrong about you; you can bully her into giving you her email and contact details, you can pout and say, like Man #45 or #87, “You think I’m ugly?”. Or you can accept she doesn’t see you as you do, or as your friends do, as your mom does and move the fuck on. There are other people in this world with differing opinions; there exist people who will dislike you, there will be women you find attractive who think you’re not.
Welcome to adulthood.
It’s time to give up your entitlement and embrace a world that doesn’t give a fuck about what you think you deserve. Don’t “be a man”, be a respectful person – who stands up for others, who treats people with respect, who thinks women can make their own fucking decisions and should be given space to do and act as they want.
Stop your shit. And help stop other dudes’ shit. Women don’t deserve to be treated this way and they are. And it’s our fucking fault.
Follow Tauriq on Twitter.
Follow Women24 on Twitter and like us on Facebook.
To the men who catcall and those that dismiss catcall as compliments,
Seriously.
Seriously!?
Watch this video.
10 hours, in an average day in New York City, resulting in more than a 100 catcalls and targeting. Did you enjoy the two men who follow her for some time? How about that Romeo persevering for 5 solid minutes? Did you want to congratulate him for his persistence?
Did you see Guy #48 or maybe #89 wonder why he wasn’t being thanked for “paying her a compliment”?
Or what about Mr Man #98 or maybe #23 wondering why on Earth she wasn’t smiling more?
This happens to people. All the time. Actual people are hounded and harassed, whistled at and pointed at, followed and stalked, touched and fondled without consent. Men do this to women. Not (only) “weirdos”, not (only) “creeps” – men. Of every age, race, height, financial bracket.
Women can be wearing headphones and sunglasses, parkas and jackets – they will still be targeted. By now, if you think wardrobe curbs harassment, you’re not listening to what women are saying.
We men need to help stop this. We need to recognise this happens to women and we need to blame the men who harass – yes, harass, not compliment – not the women who they target. Women should be able to walk freely without feeling like they’re being tested, measured, assessed, and targeted.
No one gives a flying fuck that you think a strange woman is a hottie, is sexy, is looking good. No one gives two shits about your opinion about her appearance while she’s traveling. You’re not being nice, you’re adding to an environment we all know is unsafe for women. Your disregard for women’s sense of security is matched only by your inability to shut the fuck up.
Male entitlement is a poison and it’s on toxic display here, pouring out the idiot mouths of sleazebags who think they’re fucking Romeo. Well fuck Romeo, and fuck perseverance. You’re not Romeo or Mario, there’s no princess in a castle you “get” for digging in your heels and “standing strong” – i.e. following a strange woman for five goddamn minutes. What the fuck? What do you think will happen?
Why on Earth would you even want to spend time with someone who clearly does not want to spend time with you? Entitlement means never having to reflect that your “niceness”, you’re “not being a dick” maybe doesn’t mean you get sexy time with a woman of your choosing (indeed, it shows you’re not actually a nice guy at all); entitlement means believing that you “deserve” women, not that women can decide that you’re not interesting, you’re not attractive, that maybe you’re bit of a creep.
Hey, guess what: They’re allowed to. They owe you jack shit, mate.
You can stamp your feet all you want about how this one woman not giving you time of day is totally wrong about you; you can bully her into giving you her email and contact details, you can pout and say, like Man #45 or #87, “You think I’m ugly?”. Or you can accept she doesn’t see you as you do, or as your friends do, as your mom does and move the fuck on. There are other people in this world with differing opinions; there exist people who will dislike you, there will be women you find attractive who think you’re not.
Welcome to adulthood.
It’s time to give up your entitlement and embrace a world that doesn’t give a fuck about what you think you deserve. Don’t “be a man”, be a respectful person – who stands up for others, who treats people with respect, who thinks women can make their own fucking decisions and should be given space to do and act as they want.
Stop your shit. And help stop other dudes’ shit. Women don’t deserve to be treated this way and they are. And it’s our fucking fault.
Follow Tauriq on Twitter.
Follow Women24 on Twitter and like us on Facebook.
