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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

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Megan Fox is reporter April (AP)
Megan Fox is reporter April (AP)
What's it about:

The city needs heroes. Darkness has settled over New York as Shredder and his evil Foot Clan have an iron grip on everything from the police to the politicians. The future seems grim—until four unlikely outcast brothers rise from the sewers and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles must work with fearless reporter April and her wisecracking cameraman, Vern Fenwick, to save the city and unravel Shredder’s diabolical plan.

What we thought:

As silly as this movie was, I can honestly say I enjoyed the hell out of it. I grew up watching the TMNT series on good ol’ K.TV and if one can move past the idolised nostalgic memory one has for things of your childhood, you realise that the whole TMNT universe is quite ridiculous and that this new adaptation is just following the trope.

Before the craze of TMNT, if you had pitched the idea to anyone they would have looked at you like you had taken a bit too much of your meds. But somehow it came to ingrain itself into 90s popular culture and has still remained relevant. However, I do think people might have hyped up the new film too much with their nostalgia and forgotten how ridiculous it all really is.

And that it is meant for children.

My biggest cringe though is April O’Neil, played by the plank that is Megan Fox. Her attempts at trying to come off as a wannabe serious journalist are so laughable that it almost makes you want to cry. April was never as neurotic as Fox portrayed her and she sounds dumb when she speaks. I am pretty sure if they had cast someone, ANYONE else, the reviews would have already gone up by a couple of stars.

As for the turtles, the casting and dialogue was on point (except their noses, which was a cross between Voldemort and something horrifying). Michelangelo is still my favourite and he lives up to his series character with cheesy-but-great one-liners and fawning over April. The others were also pretty awesome and villain Shredder’s armour would have put Robocop and the Transformers to shame.

However, could they not have come up with a better villainous plot? Rehashed to death and predictable secret villain, you would have thought Shredder would have had better ideas on how to take over the city. And of course you get bombarded with Michael Bay’s CGI showcase reminiscent of Transformers. Awesome, but overboard and tiring as hell. I think he needs a handler that sprays him with water every time he gets a little too out of control with the action sequences.

BUT WHERE IS KRANG? AND ROCKSTEADY? AND DIMENSION X? (Apologies, rant over.) Apparently they will be coming up in the sequels, with crazy vigilante Casey Jones and Bebop also making an appearance. So there is hope yet.

Also, give it some South African love. Director Jonathan Liebesman is born and bred in our corner of Africa and has directed big productions like Wrath of the Titans and Battle Los Angeles. He’s doing quite well for himself and we South Africans love it when one of our own makes it big in Hollywood.

Throughout the ridiculousness of TMNT, I had a very good laugh and the children in the cinema sounded super excited throughout. As long as you go in and leave your serious face outside the cinema, you will enjoy it. And its box office takings prove it. Haters gonna hate.

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