STUPID QUESTION
APPARENTLY, when he was United States President, George W Bush used to ask: “Why haven’t we found Osama Bin Laden?” with such regularity an exasperated official once suggested sending a one-sentence reply: “Because he’s hiding.”
KATE THE THIRD…
PRINCE WILLIE’S NEW WIFE – former “commoner” Kate Middleton, now the Duchess of Cambridge – has been named the “third most beautiful royal in history”. That put her one beauty above her husband’s mother – Princess Diana – after a poll in Britain canvassing 127 000 people conducted by dating website BeautifulPeople.com.
Website MD gushed: “I think the world is breathing a sigh of relief the British monarchy can only get better looking in generations to come.”
To put such trivial tosh into perspective, among the royal “also-rans” was Princess Fiona – of Shrek fame – who polled 33%.
SCOTCH MIST
ONE AFTERNOON a wealthy Scotsman was in the back of his spacious limousine when he saw two men by the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one of the men, “Why are you eating grass?”
The poor Scot replied: “We don’t have any money for food. So we have to eat grass.”
“Well, then,” says the wealthy Scotsman, “you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you.”
“But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there under that tree.”
“Bring them along,” the Scotsman says. Turning to the other poor man he says: “You come with us, too.”
The second man, in a pitiful voice, replies: “But, sir, I also have my wife and six children with me.”
“Bring them all as well,” the Scotsman answered.
They all cram into the limousine – no easy task, even for a car as large as it.
Once under way one of the poor fellows turned to the Scotsman and says: “Sir, you’re too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”
The wealthy Scotsman replies: “Only too glad to do it. You will all really love my place. The grass is almost 30 centimetres high.”
Finance Week
