Publications
Partners
He's five weeks in and Brandon has busted another kilogram.
Listen to Brandon's song of the week.
This is what Brandon has to say about weight loss, weight lifting and living a healthier lifestyle this week:
Fat Like Me? “Catastrophe Royale”
Nation, I have a confession to make.
Today I stand before you, 118kgs of humbled mammal . . . a double-chinned agent provocateur, a bumbling mess of mixed emotions as I feel the need to come clean, to bare my soul, to lay at your feet this cross(fit) of lies and deceit.
Read: What happens at CrossFit?
For far too long I’ve yearned for truth to set me free, for emancipation from guilt, for the grand Lady of Justice to take off her blindfold and sit on my lap.
Yes gentle readers, today I confess the (un)confessable to you.
My fellow citizens, it is true . . . "I too am a spy."
Quantum of Solace
I take significant comfort in declaring my clandestine origins on a public forum like this before a certain minister “outs” me to the world.
Said minister has been trained, you see, in spotting the modus operandi of “foreign intelligence” – which comes as a moer of a surprise to me since I didn’t think the minister has yet mastered the art of “local intelligence” but then, hey, what do I know?
I wouldn’t be too stressed if I was Thuli Madonsela however, when the guy who is Second-in-Charge of a department in such utter disarray such as the Department of Defence makes statements about the “intelligence” (foreign or otherwise) of anyone outside the cabal of disorderly comrades that categorises the failed state in which we live – not even a decrepit old donkey in the hills of Lesotho pays attention, and neither should we.
Alas – I digress.
A spy I am for sure citizens, it’s true. For I am, in fact, a skinny man (well disguised) in the trappings of a fat man’s body.
From Cape Town With Love?
How else would you explain my flagrant disregard for Will (from Crossfit360 La Vida’s) advice on what to do (fitness wise) while away in the Mother City for a week?
I must be a skinny chap to, in one week, have had a crispy eisbein at the Waterfront, a burger at a place called “My Bazaar” AND beef ribs (damn delicious by the way) at Fireman’s Arms whilst watching Province take on the EP Kings.
For most part I avoided chips and beer but the fact of the matter is that, clearly, this wobbled exterior is a ruse, a cunning disguise used to frighten kids and repel members of the public.
Ja . . . clearly.
Dr. No(t yet)
Taking my undercover activities of last week into account I will therefore delay the promise of pics and reflection on your comments sent until next Tuesday.
Yes forgive me nation for I have sinned, I have failed not only myself but, also, the thirteen of you who diligently smirk at my efforts.
An epic failure of commitment, a disastrous lack of discipline, a momentous dereliction of duty.
If I carry on like this they may ask ME to join parliament.
Read all of Brandon's columns:
Week one: Fat like me? 120kg and Crossfitting
Week two: Fat like me? Brandon fights the pain
Week three: Fat like me? Brandon keeps going
Week four: Fat like me? 120kg going down
