Ukuba umalume akusiyo into oyicelayo noma ongayinqaba kodwa okubalulekile ukuthi wenzani ngokuba umalume. Noma ngabe kuthiwa akekho umalume endlini ekhaya kodwa kukhona umuntu ombiza ngomalume ngisho engasiso isihlobo.
Nabashayeli bezimoto ezithutha abantwana besikole kuthiwa omalume, ngakho-ke makungabikho othi yena akanaye umalume ngoba baningi ezweni omalume, ngisho kwipolitiki kukhona uMalum’Ronnie Kasril no-Oom Gov (Goven Mbeki).
Imindeni inomalume abangafani futhi ukhona umalume lona cishe umangathi uyambuka uyombona nje ukuthi ngathi uziphuphele, kodwa uthandwa yiwo wonke umuntu, kuphinde kube khona lona onemali kodwa osatshwayo ngisho noma ekhona anisondeli ngakuyena.
Okuhle ukuthi bonke laba badlala indima thizeni ezimpilweni zethu, lona ohlinayo (odla ushingamu wensimbi), kujwayelekile ukuthi kube uyena okhuluma nabakhongi besekuthi lona omunye abe umngani nihambe naye kuze kuse nithethiswe nonke, kuthiwa uyena ujwayeza izingane imikhuba emibi.
Kukhona-ke nohlobo oluthize lomalume olungafunwa umphakathi nemindeni yalo ngenxa yemikhuba emibi.
Laba sibabiza ngomalume abalumayo. Angithandi ukukhuluma ngomalume abalumayo ngoba ibo kanye laba abasonelayo igama lethu njengomalume ngengxa yokuhlukumeza abantwana nemiphakathi ngezenzo zabo ezimbi.
Into engizibuza yona ukuthi ingabe iyiphi indima emelwe idlalwe umalume ngaphandle kokukhulumela amalobolo? Iningi labantu eNingizimu Afrika bakhula ngaphandle kobaba ngenxa yezizathu eziningi, umuntu wesilisa oseduze kujwayelekile ukuthi kube umalume ngisho noma ngabe umama wakho ekuzalele ekhaya ukushiya nomalume.
Uma ngabe ubaba wakho eseshonile ezintweni eziningi ezenzeka ekhaya umama uthintana nomalume kakhulu ngaphezu kokuthi athintane nabasemzini.
Lokhu kusho ukuthi umalume ubalulekile kodwa akusho ukuthi umalume uyazazi ukubaluleka kwakhe noma umndeni uyakutusa ukubakhona komalume eduze kwabashana.
Umbono uthi imindeni kumele ibatuse omalume futhi nomalume kumele badlale indima ephelele empilweni yomtwana, eqinisweni umalume kumele adlale indima yokuba ubaba.
Yebo, ngisho njalo, umalume kumele avikele abashana bakhe, ahlale nabo phansi abaluleke ngezinto zempilo, ababonise ubuhle nobubi bomhlaba. Omalume kumele baluleke nangezinto ezibucayi ikakhulukazi lezi ezihlula abazali ezifana nocansi, ukuqoma kanye nokuziphatha.
Umalume kumele anikezwe igunya eliphelele lokuba ubaba, elokuthetha nelokuqondisa izigwegwe. Ukuba ubaba akusho ukuhlina malume kodwa kusho ukuveza uthando nemfudumalo ekhaya.
Ungathethi nje kuphela kodwa thenga namaswidi, amafejefeje, bese kuthi ngokhisimuzi uthengele abashana ikhanda lengulube, futhi noma ungasebenzi bapholishele izicathulo ubaphelezele ubase enkulisa (crèche).
Akumele omalume babizwe ukuzobhula umlilo nje kuphela kodwa kumele babizwe ukuzoluleka abantwana besabancane kanti nodadewethu akumele avune umtwana umangabe umalume ethetha ekhaya, ngoba umalume kumele adlale indawo kababa, futhi nomalume akangavuni izingane zakhe besebhokela ezadadewabo.
Umalume udlala ingxenye enkulu empilweni yomshana noma yomtwana, angakufundisa ubuqotho noma akusize ukuthi uphaphame (streetwise) ungabi umnqolo wesinothongwane somfana esidlala ononkroyi noma sentombazane.
Ukuba umalume kusho ukuvala isikhala esikhona empilweni yomtwana kadadewenu. Uma ngabe umshana enabazali bobabili wena njengomalume bheka lapho kushoda khona kumshana bese uyongeza ngokwamandla akho.
Ukuvala isikhala akusho ukuthi khipha imali, kungaba ukufundisa umshana ukuwasha imoto, ukusebenzisa ikhompyutha, ngisho nokubasa umlilo we-braai kuyinto enkulu kabi leyo.
Njengomalume kumele sakhe isikhathi sabashana ukuze sikwazi ukubakhalima umangabe sebephuma esandleni. Singakhuluma sigeqa amagula ngomalume emindenini yethu kodwa nathi njengabashana asibathande sibahloniphe omalume bethu noma ngabe banjani ukuze sithole izibusiso.
Ekugcineni ungabi umalume olumayo kodwa iba umalume olulamisayo.
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