A local dating dilemma? Why SA's Heritage weekend is for 'finding out'

• This long weekend, South Africans will be celebrating their cultures and hosting braais.
• Others might find out that their long-term partners will be marrying someone else.
• This behaviour has been going on for years, and we suspect this year will be no different.

Heritage Day weekend is a big weekend in our country, where all South Africans are encouraged to celebrate the cultural wealth within our beautiful rainbow nation. However, for relationships, this weekend seems to have everyone shaking in their boots, honey. Apart from hosting a braai and going home for a visit, some citizens will tie the knot. So, that means when you see a post of your partner wearing matching traditional attire with his "cousin".

He might be the groom, and the wedding he said was his friend's is actually his. Oh, and that "cousin" might be his bride, you know, the 'umama wase ndlini' (the main girlfriend/wife). So, basically, you can call this weekend 'the finding out weekend'. 

READ MORE | How TikTok's dating story time trend offers a glimpse into the sometimes weird world of modern romance

Although this may sound like a Lifetime movie plot and a joke passed around social media, it is, however, a reality that most people in relationships have had to live with after they found out that the person they've been in a relationship with for years has become someone's husband in a weekend. The conversation surrounding this issue gained traction in 2021 when Kaya FM presenter Thabo T-Bose Mokwele shared a tweet asking his followers how they found out their partner was getting married using the hashtag #MyPersonGotMarriedKaWeekend. 

READ MORE | Keep jumping from one relationship to the next? Dating coach says, 'you end up paying for it later'

Users of the platform jumped on the comment section to share their 'Find Out' stories, with one saying, "My boyfriend went to Limpopo, Bochum, and the next morning (Saturday), when I tried reaching out to him, he was not picking up my calls. That was the day he was paying lobola or having a traditional ceremony for this other lady. His cousins notified me."

All the stories surrounding this conversation seem to have one thing in common, and that is Limpopo. Of course, because our nation's coping mechanism is humour, even in serious situations, people didn't miss the opportunity to share a couple of jokes about the conversation online. 

READ MORE | 'Mature, solid and long-lasting relationship': Expert on why looks should not matter when in love

Here are some of our favourites:

Dating life insurance.

Arranged stokvel marriage.

Find better ways to hide your secret.

He's not that proud of his tribe.

He's yet to marry you, and he's just following the order.

Sources: Twitter