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CinderFella

By: Navigating Manifestations 2014-08-28 19:50

Once upon a time there lived an unhappy young androgyne. Her mother was dead and her father was unemployed with bad debt. His creditors didn't like her one little bit. All their kind interest and business promotions were for their own pockets.

Nothing was too good for them – share schemes, bonuses, salary increases and dividends. But, for the poor unhappy androgyne, there was nothing at all. No money, only the creditors’ wrath. No lovely bursaries, nothing but illiteracy. No rest and no comfort. She had to work hard all day.

Only when evening came was she allowed to sit for a while by the fire, near the cinders. That’s why everybody called her CinderFella. 

CinderFella used to spend long hours all alone talking to the cat. The cat said, “Miaow“, which really meant, “Your screwed! You have something none of your creditors has and that is being an outcast.” It was quite true. CinderFella, even dressed in old rags, was not really a girl. While their creditors, would always be rich and hip. 

One day, debt counsellors arrived at the house. A meeting was to be held at the business and the creditors were getting ready to go. CinderFella didn't even dare ask if she could go too. She knew very well what the answer would be: “You? You're definitely going. We want to see how we can recover our money.”

CinderFella sighed, “Oh dear, I'm so unhappy!” and the cat murmured “Miaow.” 

Suddenly something amazing happened. As CinderFella was sitting all alone, there was a burst of light and a fairy appeared. “Don't be alarmed, CinderFella,” said the fairy. “I know you do not want to go to the meeting. And so you shall not!” “How can I not go, we owe them?” CinderFella replied. “The debt collectors will stalk me!” 

The fairy smiled. With a flick of her magic wand CinderFella found herself wearing the most stylish paramedic outfit she had ever seen. “Now for your coach,” said the fairy; "A real lad would never skip out on a meeting on foot! Quick! Get me a bank statement!” “Oh of course,” said CinderFella, rushing away.

Then the fairy turned to the cat. “You, bring me seven final notices, and, remember they must be recent!” 

CinderFella soon returned with the bank statement and the cat with seven final notices he had found in the post box. With a flick of the magic wand the bank statement turned into a sparkling ambulance and the final notices became six white nurses, while the seventh final notice turned into a driver in a smart uniform and carrying a drip. CinderFella could hardly believe her eyes. 

“You shall drive past the business CinderFella. But remember! You must drive at top speed. That is when my spell ends. Your coach will turn back into a bank statement and the nurses will become final notices again. You will be dressed in rags and wearing clogs instead of these stethoscopes! Do you understand?” CinderFella smiled and said, “Yes, I understand!” 

CinderFella had a wonderful time speeding around the city until they started to run out of gas! She remembered what the fairy had said, and without a word of warning she piled as many homeless people in the ambulance as she could. As she was doing this, not once did she check to see if all the organs could be used on the black market!

If the last stroke of the engine were to sound... oh... what a disaster that would be! She threw the homeless out of the moving van at her home to up the numbers. 

The creditors, who were now mad with her, picked up the phone and said to their employees, “Set up a committee to see what the prices are for body organs on the black market and make this fella an offer!” So the employees did their research and realised CinderFella was an excellent supplier at good prices. 

“That awful untidy girl simply cannot have thought this up on her own,” snapped the creditors. “Tell the medical fraternity we will be the middle man! Can't you see how stupid CinderFella is?” 

But, to everyone’s amazement, the commissions were too high and the business went directly to CinderFella. 

Suddenly the fairy appeared and waved her magic wand. In a flash, CinderFella appeared with blood on her hands. Their creditors and employees gaped at her in amazement, and the Medical Council said, “Come with us CinderFella! The people in ICU and who have special orders are waiting for you.” 

So CinderFella set up a large ‘organ’isation and lived happily ever. As for the cat, he just said “Miaow” before they ate him! 

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