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There is a quote (or some or other bastardised version of it) that I often see used on MyNews24, most recently by Godless Heathen, someone I really expected better from. It is a quote by Stephen F Roberts that has been doing the rounds for almost 20 years and it goes like this:
"I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
The second part of the quote I have absolutely no problem with. It is spot on and accurate. Sadly, it does not negate the fallacious nature of the first part of the quote which is the part often regurgitated on this forum in some form or another and is the one I would like to discuss.
How can it be fallacious, do I hear you ask. It is witty, it riles up Christians and is often quoted on the internet, so surely it cannot be wrong! Sorry to burst your bubble, but it is, because it shows a complete disregard for and ignorance of the accepted definition of the term “atheist”. Which is quite ironic, since this quote is only ever used by atheists.
Let’s look at the accepted definition of atheist. According to Urban Dictionary there are two accepted definitions for the term:
1.) A person who lacks belief in a god or gods; and
2.) A person who believes that no god or gods exist.
The Free Dictionary and Oxford Dictionaries combine these into a single definition, which still says the same thing. Merriam-Webster also echoes this definition, but adds ungodliness and wickedness as archaic definitions. I think it is safe to say that we can work with the two definitions listed above. As an agnostic atheist, the first one is applicable to me and the second one most definitely not.
One thing that all the definitions of atheist have in common is that of no gods, with suitable emphasis on the “no” part. Atheists do not believe in any gods whatsoever, which means an atheist cannot believe in one god or two gods or three gods. The moment a person believes in any god at all, even the deistic type, that person ceases to be an atheist and becomes a theist of some or other flavour.
Theist is defined by Urban Dictionary as:
Someone who claims the existence of a deity.
Dictionary.com goes straight to theism. They echo Urban Dictionary, but add the following:
“the belief in one God as the creator and ruler of the universe, without rejection of revelation (distinguished from deism).”
They also add the following: “belief in the existence of a god or gods (opposed to atheism).”
Please note the “opposed to atheism” bit. These definitions are also by and large echoed by The Free Dictionary, Merriam-Webster and Oxford Dictionaries.
It is clear to anyone who can read English with basic comprehension that the terms theist and atheist are mutually exclusive. In simple English: you can only be one or the other, never both at the same time.
Therefore Stephen F Roberts basically said Christians/Muslims/Hindus/Jews/etc are all theists and atheists at the same time. That is as nonsensical as saying a working light bulb is both off and on or a gate is both open and closed at the same time. Ironically it is also the people who should know better that brainlessly parrot this quote.
It is definitely funny and it certainly riles up the religionists, but it is also wrong and logically fallacious. Quoting this nonsense is not the way to show the oft-claimed intellectual superiority associated with atheism. If you have a desperate need to quote this piece, at least have the intellectual honesty to replace "atheist" with "unbeliever". You will still annoy the religionists almost as much and at the same time look less of a halfwit.
