Denied access to your children?

In response to I cannot see why it has to be so complicated.

Each and every divorce case is different but the denial of access and withholding of maintenance are way too often used as weapons to sooth hurt egos or are turned into weapons by an aggrieved ex and the only person(s) to suffer are the child(ren).

My suggestion is purely that...a suggestion and one that has not been tested in a court of law however I do not see any reasonable court not agreeing that the solution is in the best interest of the child(ren) involved.

All it takes is for one person that is gatvol enough to try this and see how far it goes in a court of law. Any lawyers care to comment?

1) Divide your maintenance amount by the amount of hours that you are entitled to have access to your child(ren). (e.g. R3 000 / 80 monthly hours = R37.50)

2) Go to a lawyer and establish a Trust Account

3) On the date that your maintenance is legally due pay the money into your Trust Account (send proof to the ex)

4) After each visitation calculate how many hours you were granted access to your child(ren) and then instruct the lawyers to pay this amount to the ex after each visitation. (Week 1. 12 hours access x R37.50 = R450. Week 2. 24 hours access x R37.50 = R900 and so forth)

5) Should the ex not allow you access then simply do not pay him/her.

6) Extra visitation hours does not mean extra maintenance, however hours where a person has been denied access can be caught up and then paid for.

7) This will prove to a court that you have paid your obligations as set out in the maintenance agreement and will also prevent an ex from using your child(ren) as a weapon.

8) For this to work it will mean that you will have to pay your maintenance as per the court order and the ex will have to abide by the access allowance in order to receive the full maintenance.

9) When your child(ren) reach a non-maintenance age any funds left in the Trust can be paid to them directly and the account closed.

This is a very simplistic way of looking at it but what it does do is remove the two weapons of "denial of access" and "withholding of maintenance" from the clutches of the sparring ex’s.

Hoepfner Husselmann 2014-08-30 11:22:30 AM
The author of this article has obviously not done any research into the realities of divorce, maintenance and visitation! The reality is divorce is the "revenge" of woman. Onece maintenance is granted it is a court order against you!!! Failure to comply results in arrest. Courts in this country does not consider parental rights when granting fathers access to their children. Those visitations of coming over for the weekend is all to often only a fairytale, kinda like this article! Some children that lived under the influence of "your father is so evil" are often terrified to meet this "stranger" that they must visit because you used all your savings to on lawyers to arrange a visit. Although you have nice ideas, they are sadly far removed from reality and not anywhere close to be a agreeable solution! In short a fairytale...
Chris May 2014-08-30 01:22:19 PM
I'm not sure about this - it's like paying to visit the zoo. The money is meant for the child's upkeep - but we know how it can be abused. So can visitations. The law should go a bit deeper to ensure the child is the ultimate beneficiary of good intentions.
Colleen Williams 2014-08-30 01:40:58 PM
Firstly it is a despicable and cruel thing to do, to use children as revenge in a divorce case. Especially small children who grow up with many emotional issues when this happens. And it is usually the women who use the kids as pawns! Secondly it is just as cruel,for fathers to withhold maintenance or not paying at all. The battle should be between the mother and father (who are actually behaving like two selfish brats) and not the kids fault. So, mothers stop dragging your kids into your battle and let dad have his time with them, and dads please pay your maintenance. The maintenance and visitation rights are there to benefit the kids. Kids need a mother and father!
Arie Vd Plaats933 2014-08-30 09:04:04 PM
This is an excellent proposal. It should be proposed at the next divorce case as a proposal in order to defuse any unhappiness that does exist.