Do they still burn witches?

Here we are: Wi-Fi, DStv, cell phones, laptops, electricity (sometimes), Wikipedia, Google, Johnny Walker, BMW, international news at our finger tips, etcetera and etcetera. But some of us still believe in burning witches.

I often read the regional newspapers just to re-acquaint myself with what the local communities have been up to. Most of the time, I’m astonished at their antics.

(No, Sakkie, I’m not going to talk about the goat lovers. If a man wants to love his goat, that’s his prerogative – nothing wrong with that – as long as they are both consenting adults. Being a heathen, I cannot cast the first stone. And, as you well know, I’m a one woman man. But that’s neither here nor there.)

I’m not going to talk about the looting, burning, and killing that took place during the latest xenophobic outbreaks. And I’m not going to talk about the tradition of not paying for service delivery, water, and electricity. The people are NEVER going to pay for these things – just like Zuma is NEVER going to pay back the money – so why belabour these issues?

What concerns me is the number of news reports about the Tokkeloshe, ghosts, black magic, evil spells, witches and witchcraft.

I’ve just read a report of a mob burning down a Methodist Church priest’s house in the township of Nancefield, near Musina, in Limpopo.

During an interview on TV, the priest admitted to being a witch and practicing witchcraft. This angered the community and they then proceeded to burn down his house.

The cops came and exorcised the evil by firing rubber bullets and teargas. Two police vans were damaged, and three police officers injured before they managed to disperse the witchcraft.

This is wrong!

How can the community just accuse the priest of being a witch, without first giving him a fair trial?

Witches and priests have been with us for many centuries. There is no foolproof test to determine whether someone is a real, genuine, bona fide, legitimate, authenticated priest. You just have to believe whatever he tells you.

With witches, however, there are several tests. I particularly like the Bound Submersion Test (BST):

In this test, the alleged witch is bound hands and feet – with heavy rocks attached – and thrown into deep water. If the witch floats on the surface, it is proof that she is indeed a witch. If she sinks to the bottom – and drowns – she is innocent.

So here’s the thing:

In all fairness, shouldn’t the communities put all witches and priests to the submersion test? It seems to me that both witches and priests spend a lot of their time doing the same thing – fooling around with spirits and hocus-pocus. It’s hard to tell the real article from a false one.

Be fair, I say. Test them all.