Focus on what truly matters

“Never” is an infectious word, like a flu virus. Once you’ve caught it, everything loses its sparkle. It’s commonplace to hear people say and swear that they will never do, forget or say something. More often than not, the “Never” slaps you back when you finally, if ever, discover that you are only hurting yourself.

When someone hurts us, we are quick to say that we will never forgive them. Sometimes we step lower and scheme ways to avenge our pain. In the meantime, we fail to realize how much mental baggage we are carrying. The spite makes it hard to focus on the most important things in life; things that really matter like good correlation with family and friends, career opportunities and personal growth.

For most people, it is very easy to spend a lot of time on things that hardly matter. Harboring anger, regret and failure only wastes time. This valuable time could be spent finding solutions, amending relations and motivating yourself to achieve your goals. One of the questions I often ask myself to refocus is whether what I’m doing is useful. By doing so, I suffer less as I’m able to focus on what matters; finding practical solutions to the problems I encounter.

Instead of concentrating on anger and how to revenge, spend time looking for ways to reconcile and improve your relationships with others. As an alternative to holding your chin and going in circles over your failures, learn from them. “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently,” – Henry Ford. Focusing on what matters is not easy. You will need commitment and high self-esteem. Keep close these values, and take small steps every day towards improving your vision clarity.

Faced with challenges in life, I love to pose and meditate. Is what I’m doing useful to me? Zoom out when your perspective becomes too narrow and self-centered, there are people with real life burdens than yours; need for food, shelter and social amenities. Be grateful for the small things you take for granted, instead of grumbling and wasting your energy and time on crippling worries. If what you’re doing will not matter or add value to you in days to come, let go.

Everything in your past is now over. You have no control over it. Reflect. Learn your lessons and remove any guilt. More importantly, forgive yourself and others, and focus on finding healthier perspectives. That is what truly matters.