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Happy Groundhog Day

As a South African, you can be forgiven for thinking that we are caught in a never-ending time loop – repeating the same day again and again. Welcome to Groundhog Day RSA.

Here is tomorrow’s news:

Strikes, riots, murders, rapes, looting, xenophobia, corrupt ANC politicians, failed government departments, Zuma, the country’s collapsed infrastructure, Nkandla, Ebola, Israelites and Philistines killing each other.

Here is the day after tomorrow’s news:

Strikes, riots, murders, rapes, looting, xenophobia, corrupt ANC politicians, failed government departments, Zuma, the country’s collapsed infrastructure, Nkandla, Ebola, Israelites and Philistines killing each other.

And the next day, and the next day, and the next day…ad nauseam.

So, imagine my surprise when I saw a picture, submitted by Molepo Jerry Mokgatla that was published by News24, with the caption: 2nd International Workshop on Symbiotic Copepods. It has nothing to do with Ground Hog Day!

I’ve never even heard of a Symbiotic Copepod, and here Molepo and his buddies have already had their 2nd International Workshop. I have no idea what a Copepod is, so I decided to delve into the matter – just to escape from the boredom of another Ground Hog Day.

I came across a paper on Copepods, published by the Zoological Society of South Africa. My jaw dropped to my knees and then slowly sank to the floor – where it lay quivering for half an hour.

Most of my working life was spent in the Army. I used to pride myself on the collection of choice swear words and profane expletives which I had in my arsenal. At my peak, I could bring tears of appreciation to the eyes of a battle hardened soldier. But nothing had prepared me for the range and depth of the words used by Mr. Mokgatla and his Fellows of the Symbiotic Copepod Society.

Let me quote from the paper. (Sensitive readers, please close your eyes. NOW!):

“A Report of Symbiotic Siphonostomatoida Infecting Rajiformes Mobulidae off the KZN Coast.”

(Good grief!!!)

Imagine if one of those Capies had to say to you: “Djy dink djy’s klêwwa, nê? Djou ma se siphonostomatoida rajiformes mobulidae, my ou!”

You would give him a taai klap against the ear. Right?

But that’s not all; the report continues:

“The highest prevalences were calculated for Eudactylina oliveri and Pupulina cliffi on Mobula eregoodootenkee and Mobula kuhlii, while Eudactylina oliveri also exhibited the highest mean intensity values on these hosts.”

(End of paper)

Capie: “En dissie allie, my bra! Djou ma se eregoodootenkee is vol vannie mobula kuhlii.”

Sies, man!

And then I came across a book written by Ju-shey Ho: Why do Symbiotic Copepods Matter?

Ho states that Copepoda consist of five major orders: Calanoida, Harpacticoida, Cyclopoida, Poecilostomatoida, and Siphonostomatoida. In an abstract to the book, it is concluded that: “opepodologists today need to pay more attention to the symbiotic copepods, if copepodology is to become a major subject of biological sciences.”

Jawellnofine.

Bring on the Ground Hog Day – I’m not complaining anymore.

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