How do we love?

At the moment it seems as if there is very little love going around in the world. What is seen more prominently though is irritation, frustration, aggression, hate and plenty of fear. This does not mean we do not love or even that we have forgotten how to love; it only means that we see very little love in people’s behaviour - how people treat each other and how we communicate.

How often do you say “I love you” or do you even say it? When you do, have you ever considered what the word love really means? And what does it mean to love someone ‘unconditionally’? These are loaded questions and important to explore, especially when we DO use these words and when we use it very freely.

Maybe we use the word LOVE too often without being aware of our intention when using it. Maybe our intention is that we care or maybe we are just saying it out of habit. I am of the notion that we make use of the word without totally understanding the concept of love and sometimes we’re not even 100% sure what our feelings are at that moment. Let us have a look at what love could mean.

When we say “I love you”, it could mean:

I like you tremendously.

I admire you.

I care about you.

I will support you.

I am here for you.

I want to be with you.

You inspire me.

You are gorgeous.

You are my hero.

I feel so connected.

I respect you.

I forgive you.

I accept you, warts and all.

I have compassion for what you are going through.

Is THIS what we actually want to say, but maybe lack the emotional language or confidence? I wonder what will be the impact if we choose to say that what is closer to the truth, rather than just conveniently use love as a filler word?

There IS a place for the word love, but how then do we define it? The short answer is, the more we get to know ourselves, the closer we will get to understand the concept of love. How can we love the world if we cannot love all our own thoughts, even the really dark ones?

Love could mean so many things. It could be a feeling, a moment of bliss or even a vibration that tingles through the body.

The word that describes love the best (for me) is CONNECTION! Love is the reminder of unity. Let’s say it is an urge to merge. I think when we feel THAT we can honestly say “I love you”!

Unconditional Love goes deeper than love. It is a very difficult concept for us as human beings to comprehend. It is not a fuzzy feeling. It is a state of being. It is about knowing who we truly are as spiritual beings; knowing that we are all connected. In our behaviour it's about caring for others without judgement, have compassion, showing empathy and supporting others without rescuing them. It is all those, ALL the time, even if we do not like the person…and maybe even more. In other words, if you cannot love everybody and everything ALL the time then you cannot label it as unconditional love.

It is our inherent nature to love, not to hate. Thus consciousness is our essential nature. Consciousness IS love. Anger and frustration is a product of the mind due to a belief in separation - separation from others or parts of the self. Separation causes fear and fear causes us to be aggressive and even becoming ill. If we learn how to accept ourselves, we will learn how to love ourselves. To do so we need to become aware of what is out of balance in our lives and change that. An expanded awareness creates harmony and unity among people.

This, I would say, is how we should LOVE.

FatherChristmasConscience 2014/08/06 11:31:29 AM
I hope some militant naturalist will appear here and explain to you that there is no emotion, there is bio-chemistry. No love - it's oxitocin. There is no happiness - there are endorphins. You are not alpha male - it's serotonin flooding your brain. Let me apply some octopamine and I'll turn you into helpless, sobbing puppy. Talking about feelings is for sissies, real men and their women know that things that you can count, like number of molecules in my blood, is what really matters. I would say respect bro, but it's not me, it's some chemical imbalance in my brain causing to write so.
pieterpompies 2014/08/06 11:56:15 AM
Nice piece Heine. Every night I sneak into my 6yr old son's room when he's fast asleep to have a peek at him. It does not matter what he might have done during the day to test my wife and me, but when I see him in that state of childhood innocence that can only be portrayed by deep sleep, - I experience a special type of love: a love that almost hurts... @ FCC; Sure, I do understand the underlying neurobiology involved, but I immerse myself in it and try and etch these moments in my memory forever.
Daniele Michelini 2014/08/06 12:24:53 PM
Great article!
RuudAwakener 2014/08/06 12:26:26 PM
"It is our inherent nature to love, not to hate." You're going to have trouble with this one. You're creating a false dichotomy, using the unpalatable alternative as a basis for assuming the validity of the core assertion. Let's break it down. "It is our inherent nature to love" - what does this actually mean? I'd say it's our inherent nature to want to mate, to consume, to be jealous, spiteful, vengeful, selfish, to desire material goods, to love very conditionally, as well as to aspire occasionally to human-defined ideals of truth, love and altruism. What you're saying isn't our nature at all, it's an ideal. This is just word salad. Sounds nice, I'll agree, but it's little more than motivational rhetoric.
Jacqui Daane Van Rensburg 2014/08/06 12:51:33 PM
Unconditional love starts with you loving yourself first. How many do that?.
Sam Beza 2014/08/06 01:55:19 PM
I was pondering about the meaning of love this week, how unexpected that somebody would write something about it. I apologize for the following psychobabble,…erm I can’t help it, I “love” over-thinking things…. :’) Love seems to have allot of meanings. It can be used in many different ways (as a verb as a noun and practically everything in between). I am going to try to identify some common elements in the concept of love and devise a definition according to them. I decided to define love as: A “desire and intent” by a person, driven by an “emotional motivator”, to “do good” onto a person or object. (basically I am putting goodwill somewhat = to love, with the condition that love must be driven by emotion) This “desire and intent” could be the result of any of many motivations, and its origins(and manifestation) might well explain the “type” of love we are dealing with.