How do we love?
At the moment it seems as if there is very little love going around in the world. What is seen more prominently though is irritation, frustration, aggression, hate and plenty of fear. This does not mean we do not love or even that we have forgotten how to love; it only means that we see very little love in people’s behaviour - how people treat each other and how we communicate.
How often do you say “I love you” or do you even say it? When you do, have you ever considered what the word love really means? And what does it mean to love someone ‘unconditionally’? These are loaded questions and important to explore, especially when we DO use these words and when we use it very freely.
Maybe we use the word LOVE too often without being aware of our intention when using it. Maybe our intention is that we care or maybe we are just saying it out of habit. I am of the notion that we make use of the word without totally understanding the concept of love and sometimes we’re not even 100% sure what our feelings are at that moment. Let us have a look at what love could mean.
When we say “I love you”, it could mean:
I like you tremendously.
I admire you.
I care about you.
I will support you.
I am here for you.
I want to be with you.
You inspire me.
You are gorgeous.
You are my hero.
I feel so connected.
I respect you.
I forgive you.
I accept you, warts and all.
I have compassion for what you are going through.
Is THIS what we actually want to say, but maybe lack the emotional language or confidence? I wonder what will be the impact if we choose to say that what is closer to the truth, rather than just conveniently use love as a filler word?
There IS a place for the word love, but how then do we define it? The short answer is, the more we get to know ourselves, the closer we will get to understand the concept of love. How can we love the world if we cannot love all our own thoughts, even the really dark ones?
Love could mean so many things. It could be a feeling, a moment of bliss or even a vibration that tingles through the body.
The word that describes love the best (for me) is CONNECTION! Love is the reminder of unity. Let’s say it is an urge to merge. I think when we feel THAT we can honestly say “I love you”!
Unconditional Love goes deeper than love. It is a very difficult concept for us as human beings to comprehend. It is not a fuzzy feeling. It is a state of being. It is about knowing who we truly are as spiritual beings; knowing that we are all connected. In our behaviour it's about caring for others without judgement, have compassion, showing empathy and supporting others without rescuing them. It is all those, ALL the time, even if we do not like the person…and maybe even more. In other words, if you cannot love everybody and everything ALL the time then you cannot label it as unconditional love.
It is our inherent nature to love, not to hate. Thus consciousness is our essential nature. Consciousness IS love. Anger and frustration is a product of the mind due to a belief in separation - separation from others or parts of the self. Separation causes fear and fear causes us to be aggressive and even becoming ill. If we learn how to accept ourselves, we will learn how to love ourselves. To do so we need to become aware of what is out of balance in our lives and change that. An expanded awareness creates harmony and unity among people.
This, I would say, is how we should LOVE.