I am a happy feminist

Growing up as a young girl I was very keen on learning domestic chores and used to love helping my aunt cook. She would say, I would one day make a good bride who could take care of her husband. At the time I did not put much thought into it but as a third year Politics student when I look back at those conversations I realise how gendered society is. At a young age girls are encourage to be more domestic and socialised into thinking men and women are not equal. On my way home during the winter break on the bus a men was ranting about how women empowerment is ruining society because now women do not know their place and challenge male authority. He talked about women becoming more aware of their capabilities and becoming more liberal as if it was the end of civilisation and continued to say that women nowadays are disrespectful because they do not to submit to men. He made the argument that our culture dictates that women should respect and submit to their husbands or men in general. And I thought to myself that people make culture not the other way around so if women were empowered more, then that would be the dawn of a new culture in which gender equality was a norm.    

I remember when I was about to go to varsity, a member of my extend family came to wish me well. And she said I should work hard, take care of my mother and find a good husband because every girl belongs with their husband. This bothered me but at the time I knew nothing about feminism but what she said bothered me because I was raised by a single parent who encouraged me to be independent and told me that marriage was a choice not something that had to happen. The point I am trying to make is that society is gendered, many women are taught by their mothers or elderly women that they belong with men who are supposed to take care of them as if women are helpless and cannot take care of themselves. As a feminist my fight is not with men but with notions that encourage the subordination of women or if you are not married as a women then you are an outlier in society. Feminism is not about antagonising men but about empowering women and emancipating them from male dominance.

There are many notions about what a real women is, if you cannot cook or clean you are a disappointment or not a proper women. Femininity should not be based on whether a women is domesticated or on their desire to get married and take care of a men who thinks of them as their subordinate. I am a happy feminist and I do not want a head in my house but two hands that are going work together to build a home.