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My Biggest Fear & Other Things Involved

It’s something that I’ve lately came to discover. I think my biggest fear is losing my job. Not in a sense that it literally scares me, but what rather does more is the challenge that would come with that happening. The challenge to make ends meet or ants meat. In my life, the longest period I’ve stayed without employment is about nine months. It was horrible, especially since, from an early age, I’ve always seen myself as independent or at least not fully dependent person. Maybe it was because I had not yet discovered my talent back then. The kind of talent that would see me make something potent of myself in life & maybe even change other people’s lives as well. Is it really a bad thing to be scared of challenges? What is it that has really challenged me in this life? I don’t recall having any, or if it is that I do, I never perceived it as a challenge, even though it may have been one.

I work in an environment where we are replaceable, to a point where chances of that happening can be in a snap of your thumb & middle finger. Maybe that’s the reason why I have familiarized myself with this “fear” of losing my job. We are replaceable. If you don’t perform, the result might be you being put under performance management, meaning that you are made to notice that you are not performing & that if there aren’t any alterations, who knows… Nevertheless it is a good job to have, and I’ll stop here, before I start sounding like I’m discouraging the job I have. That wouldn’t be a good attitude.

This recognition of this “fear” of losing my job came about this other day when I had not been to work because of an ailment. My Grandmother was very worried as to how my employer was going to respond to that, if it’d put my job at risk. From result of her worry, she said would die if I were to lose my job. I could see from her face that she meant it in a literal sense. That made me realise that I fear losing my job. But in that revelation, I also overcame that “fear” the very same day. I reckon I would survive – we would survive, considering that I am a person with many abilities. And that’s a new revelation as well. My only worry would be my family; my Grandmother, Mother & Brother, those being the people I share a household with. I’m the only one who works. My Mother is unemployed, my Grandmother is a pensioner & my Brother is still in school. I think I understand my Grandmother’s fear now. But fear thwarts you from accomplishing a lot of things, that is what I detest about it. Me being the person who has many abilities, and seeing that my job prevents me to make live them, not making sacrifices that will see me live these abilities all because of fear, would be a waste of life & a chance of living, from existing.

My line of defence in this situation is analysis. If I were to quit my job & pursue betterment, we’d survive, only with limitation & more discipline because the source of income would now be shortened. Sometimes sacrifice is more important than what we think. In my perception, it’s about sacrificing the little that means a lot, if you want more which would in turn also have equal value of the little that you’ve sacrificed to get more. If I don’t sacrifice, chances of living life the way I want are anorexic. If I don’t sacrifice, I feel I won’t be giving it my all. Myles Munroe said it best when he said “Don’t die old, die empty”. He was emphasizing that we should maximize our potential as human beings. On my side I feel my debt to God for life in this world is to live a purposeful life, maximize my potential as a human being & be grateful for life itself. In Munroe’s words “Die empty”. So my biggest fear that I’ve come to unfold, is not really my biggest fear but a great challenge.

By MrBiggsJnr – The young CEO/CFO

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