Our new National Bird?

The Blue Crane (Anthropoides paradiseus), also known as the Stanley crane, or the Paradise crane, is the national bird of South Africa. I think it’s time for a change.

From Wikipedia:

Since 1994, there have been a large number of places in South Africa which have been renamed for political, ethnic, or even economic reasons. These name changes were at first to remove politically motivated, incorrectly spelt or offensive names (such as those named after Apartheid leaders) from the South African landscape. However, since 2000 these name changes have targeted places of mostly Afrikaans but also English-speaking origin, with many places now named after anti-apartheid activists.

From me:

At first I objected to all the name changes. But, as time strolled on, I became used to it, and even welcomed them.

I have no objection to Pretoria being renamed Tshwane. After all – Pretoria was a clean, well managed, world-class city – nothing like the cesspool which makes up its CBD these days. And this is true of just about every single renamed street, building, park, airport, and hospital, here in the Arse of Africa (RSA).

And our once beautiful small towns! Gone to pot; with bankrupt municipalities and infrastructure that has collapsed. Squatters and squalor. Weed infested sidewalks. Sewerage in the streets. Potholes. Polluted water supplies. Luckily, they too, have been renamed to spare us – the people who knew them in their heyday – the shame and humiliation of their decay.

Lately, it would seem as if the ANC have run out of names of struggling heroes. The renaming process has ground to a halt. Just about every town now has a Mandela Street, a Mbeki Street, and a Sisulu Street. It must be really hard if your heroes are so few and far between...

But what I really want to say is this:

Open up a newspaper; listen to the news on the radio; watch news on telly, and every single day there are reports about crooked ANC politicians and officials. There will be denials and counter-denials; claims and disclaimers; spin doctors and doctors with fraudulent qualifications; the story will feature in the news for a couple of weeks, and then the dust will settle and all will be forgotten. Never to be mentioned again.

Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, Jacob Zuma, drunk judges, Malema, Cele, Paul Ngobeni, Angie Molebatsi, Selebi, Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, Shaik... Jeez! The list is too long – I’ll run out of ink long before I’ve finished naming half of them.

The point I’m trying to make is this: Who reminds us of the crimes that these criminals have committed? Who keeps track of where we stand? Who checks to see that all of these crooked comrades get their just deserts? Are there any statistics available?

I think not.

So here’s my suggestion:

The Blue Crane has always been a very quiet bird. What we need is a bird to remind us to take stock of the true state of our nation – a bird with a distinctive call.

Is there such a bird?

Yes, there is, and it’s called the Fukawee bird. The Fukawee bird lives in tall grass, and every now and then, it stretches its long neck above the tops of the grass and gives its mournful cry: “Where the fukawee? Where the fukawee?” Hence its name.

We need this bird to remind us that the comrades are destroying this godforsaken country, and getting away with it.


Wehr Wulf 2014/08/15 12:50:37 PM
The presidency should have a bird of its own methinks, the Agile Tit Tyrant (real bird). Describes our horny Teflon Leader perfectly.
Joban Roberts 2014/08/15 01:00:23 PM
This made me laugh. Great suggestion. The SA I remember from my youth had only four provinces. I have no idea what they're all called these days or where each province has its borders. And I have no idea what the official languages are.
Siebert Mazus 2014/08/15 01:48:52 PM
LOL I'm still waiting for street and town names such as "Dr" Kareltjie Niehaus Street or "Dr" Pallo Jordan Town.
Francois James Lucas 2014/08/15 01:52:31 PM
Its sad bat true. Our country is falling to pieces. Soon there wil be no more money for the people to steal. What then will they take our food , home and jobs? O sorry they are already doing it!!!
Sisie Indola 2014/08/15 02:33:02 PM
The "go away bird" Shame the poor Loerie to be so badmouthed.
Colleen 2014/08/15 02:41:58 PM
Siriru So true. For anyone who lived in this country prior to 1994, the only way to retain your sanity is to tell youself you have immigrated to some remote, rural part of deepest, darkest Africa.
Rammsteen 2014/08/15 02:49:56 PM
"We're off to see the wild west shooooow..." Ha! Had me back on the border there with the Fukawee bird, Siriru. I'd just suggest the Indian Myna to become said bird. The nuisance makes a lot of noise, defecates all over the place and can be found in every little corner of this (once) beautiful country. Have a great one!
Satis Dictum 2014/08/15 03:17:54 PM
I nominate the lovely Charlize Theron as our national bird. She can ruffle my feathers anytime,
Bruce Wilson 2014/08/15 03:39:17 PM
I nominate the Kraai. The feathers are all black except for a few white collar types. "Kraai for the beloved country" ..
John Wells 2014/08/15 04:19:30 PM
It's actually calling "We're the Fukawi"