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Photo illustrates the need for breastfeeding support

A storm is raging on the internet, about a photo posted on Instagram a few days ago by Elisha Wilson Beach, wife of American TV actor Michael Beach. The photo shows Wilson Beach sitting on the loo in her bathroom, while her 11-month old daughter is helping herself to a sip from her breast. The photo has been labelled distasteful and disgusting, and Wilson Beach has been criticised for breastfeeding her daughter in an “unsanitary” and “unhygienic” environment.

Coincidentally this storm has erupted on the heels of another, more local, storm regarding the topic of breastfeeding in public. Just over two weeks ago, News 24 published my open letter to Jacaranda FM presenter Rian van Heerden in response to some highly unsupportive comments aired on his show and published on the internet in the first week of April. Judged by the comments received from News 24 readers, my open letter seemed to have evoked amazingly strong feelings in several people. Numerous readers responded incredulously to the notion that mothers might want to meet their babies’ need to be nourished and nurtured at the breast in public, claiming that public breastfeeding involves mothers’ “whipping it out” and “exposing themselves”, that it can be compared to urinating in public, and that mothers should follow one of three highly impractical routes in order to avoid public breastfeeding: excuse themselves to feed their babies in whatever changing facilities or public restrooms might be available; use bottles; or feed their babies before going out.

I believe that Wilson Beach’s photo, however shocking, inappropriate, and unnecessary it may seem, serves to illustrate a number of important points that are often – and particularly in the comments on my open letter – overlooked when the topic of public breastfeeding is discussed.

Firstly, the photo serves to highlight how our behaviour differs depending on whether we find ourselves in the comfort and privacy of our own homes, or in public. Not only is Wilson Beach sitting on the loo in the photo – her bathroom is also somewhat untidy. The image seems to be screaming at us that this woman and her child were not expecting visitors or onlookers. It is no wonder the photo evokes uneasiness. It makes us feel like intruders into these people’s most private corners of their life and home. And the breastfeeding is being done in an ultra-casual way – as may be expected in such a private setting. In the privacy of her own home, a mother could very well breastfeed lying flat on her back, with her little one draped over her, performing acrobatic nursing in an upside-down position. Or she would breastfeed in the bath. Or, in desperate moments, breastfeeding would even take place on the loo – such as this photo illustrates. Public breastfeeding is completely different. It does not typically involve “whipping out a breast”, much less performing a strip show. Nor is the baby likely to be dangling from her mother in all sorts of awkward and eye-catching positions. A mother breastfeeding in public, will be fully and respectably clothed, and will be holding her baby in such a way that it will often be impossible to tell whether she is actually feeding. In order to be able to complain about seeing some breast, you would need to be both staring very hard and sitting or standing directly in the mother’s personal space – and even then, you are likely to see far less than what you would have at your local beach or swimming pool.

Secondly, Wilson Beach’s photo – and especially the public reaction to it – makes it very obvious that breastfeeding and urination can never be compared, or grouped together as “bodily functions”. Clearly what primarily inspired the inundation of angry comments, is the fact that Wilson Beach is shown relieving herself. Breastfeeding, in various styles and settings, has been the subject matter of countless works of art for many centuries. Painters, sculptors, and photographers seem to delight in capturing the serene beauty of a little child being nurtured at his mother’s bosom. Urination, on the other hand, has always been considered a function to be performed behind closed doors, and certainly neither beautiful nor inspiring. We don’t want to look on while it is being done. So we are shocked and even disgusted when we are presented with a photo of someone performing this very necessary but very private function – just like we would naturally object if someone were to perform it in an actual public setting. Breastfeeding, however, is something entirely different. It makes no sense to lump it together with bodily functions that involve excretion of waste – as it involves eating, and as such can be seen as the polar opposite of those bodily functions.

This brings me to the third point illustrated by the photo – and again, especially by some of the responses it evoked: we are instinctively put off by the mere thought of eating and performing bodily functions in the same room. We do not eat in the toilet and we do not even discuss bodily functions at the dining room table. And yes, this is obviously also one of the reasons why the photo makes us uncomfortable: it just does not seem right for feeding – especially of a baby, whose immune system is still developing – to be happening near a toilet, let alone while the mother is sitting on the toilet. How sad that we should need a photo like this to shock us into realising how unnatural and demeaning it is to even insinuate that a public restroom or baby-changing area (which is highly likely to be incomparably more unsanitary than one’s bathroom at home) might be a more appropriate setting for a baby to be fed, than a restaurant or coffee shop.

The fourth and last point that I feel the photo is doing an excellent job of making, was, as far as I understand, in fact Wilson-Beach’s main objective in posting it on Instagram: that children have intense needs and motherhood, though immensely fulfilling, is hard and round-the-clock work. Wilson-Beach’s facial expression in the photo speaks volumes. It is quite clear that she had not been planning on feeding her daughter while sitting on the john. She had probably been counting on some privacy, not to mention a minute or two of peace and quiet after an exhausting day. But babies and toddlers are not little machines that can be programmed; and the most meticulous planning can never guarantee that your baby will be able to do without the breast for a period of time, however short. And just like little people cannot be programmed to be fed and comforted at predictable intervals, they also cannot be programmed to accept substitutes such as bottles, dummies, and soft toys at the whim of others who clearly do not understand how human lactation works

Acceptance of the right of mothers and babies to breastfeed whenever and wherever it may be needed, is of the utmost importance in this country. As part of a focused attempt to lower the South African infant mortality rate, our Department of Health is working tirelessly to promote breastfeeding and to educate parents about possible risks of artificial feeding. But education in itself is not sufficient. It needs to go hand-in-hand with public support and acceptance. Segregating mothers and babies from society is about as unsupportive as it gets. And one would have hoped that we South Africans would have been done with segregation by now. 

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