Prayer works if you speak to the right God.

So I have been working hard, but cashflow is a little screwy. I decided to test prayer and see what happens, The first thing I did was make a list of God's to speak to, ignoring Jesus because that dude has let me down so many times in the past, I know he doesn't like me. I know I get cashflow when work leaves the workshop so I discount that from my prayers. On Monday last week I pleaded with Cthulu to send someone with a bag of money to the workshop to place an order. Either Cthulu doesn't exist or he ignored me. I asked many times, the bloke with the plastic bag did not arrive.

On Tuesday I spoke to Thor, He must have some kind of power, because he promised to defeat the ice giants and we know there are none. Thor ignored me as well.

On Wednesday I spoke to Allah, Predictably he ignored me.

On Thursday I spoke to Amun Ra, His chariot travelled the sky from East to West, but it seems the exhaust manifold is broken because he couldn't hear me.

On Friday I asked Vishnu for his indulgence, Nope zip, zilch, nothing, nada

On Saturday I begged Zeus, and well squat happened.

On Sunday I took the day off and spent some time with my wife, With a little begging and pleading I was indulged. No packet of money though.

On Monday I checked my horoscope, didn't get that packet of money even though things are looking peachy keen.

On Tuesday it was Venus's turn to ignore my sorry ass.

On Wednesday someone walked in after my chat with the Cargo Gods, but nope, just some more work, but no packet of money.

I know I must be boring you. I still have 3000 Gods to find and talk to, I'll let you know when that packet of money arrives.

Liam John 2014-08-28 10:46:34 AM
This I do not find amusing at all.I am dssapointed in myself for reading and commenting on the artical
Kiwi 2014-08-28 10:53:25 AM
You're an idiot!!
Wehr Wulf 2014-08-28 10:53:27 AM
Let us know which one answers. Saves us all the trouble of praying and waiting. Hail Thor!
Johnny B Goode 2014-08-28 10:57:06 AM
The xtian god won't answer, he's a very angry guy. You see he killed his son so that we don't have to believe in him so that he can burn us. Wheeeeeeeeeeee! What a nice ride.
Sandra Nederlof 2014-08-28 11:00:49 AM
Lol..had a laugh. I'll speak to Thor anytime, though..maybe convince him to go f a drink with me he's So hot..:-))
Justanother Numty 2014-08-28 11:03:01 AM
How do you kill an atheist? Push him off his opinion of himself Onto his spiritual understanding! And...... . . . . . . . . . ... . . . .. . . . . . Splat.
CharlieC 2014-08-28 11:03:01 AM
“On Tuesday I spoke to Thor” That’s your problem. Thor will only answer on his day Thursday.
Caroline Clulow 2014-08-28 11:07:25 AM
Hehehehehe!!! The first sane article I have read today!
Joe Smith 2014-08-28 11:10:08 AM
Allahu Akbar
QuickandDirty 2014-08-28 11:15:52 AM
An atheist is someone with no invisible means of support.