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The 2014 elections

Every time there is a public holiday or celebration of sorts the ANC members all jump on their little soap boxes and spout out all the “milestone” achievements of the ANC. Well I think I need to help them out because they seem to be forgetting some of their more important “milestones”!

So lets start with the fact that in 19 years of ANC rule unemployment has gone up by 60% !! Well done! But then we know the real reason is to have more people who can toy toy at a moments notice because they don’t have to be at work!

South Africa is now the rape capital of the world, and this in a country where the president has more wives than actual brain cells? I kid you not – he is addicted to weddings as recently proved by “guptagate”!!

After 19 years of ANC rule we have achieved the dubious distinction of being 140th on a world list of 144 countries for our education department, and this from the country that gave the world Dr. Barnard and various other leaders in their respective fields!! Now all we produce is dumb shits who wait for handouts!

We are officially the country where the most hijacks take place, after all why work to buy a car when you can just take one? Then we wonder why our leaders travel in convoy? Well it is to make sure the luxury cars we are paying for are not stolen by hijackers !! Thank you for being so considerate!!

We are also on the top ten list for the most murders, quite an achievement for the “new” South Africa – your mother must be so proud of you Mr. Zuma.

In 19 years the rand/dollar has gone from R3.41 to R9.11 but not to worry Zuma has apparently just received an e-book with instructions from Robert Mugabe on how to print more money in larger denominations !! So we are all good.

During ANC rule the petrol price has gone from R1.73 to R12.83 per liter, not that it matters, as we pay for their petrol so its all good.

In 19 years our defense force has gone from being the iron fist of Africa to a laughing stock that cant defend Disney land from an invasion of fluffy toys!! The Indian Mafia has proved this point by taking over our air force base’s and dominating our sovereign air space! I see pap and curry in our future!!

On the list of most corrupt governments they have given us a special place right at the top above anything else because nothing can compete with our leaders in their national sport!! We are the champions!! A gold watch and dodgy tender for all who took part!! Thank you so much for taking us to the top!

In 19 years we have ten times more people in squatter camps and 1000% more illegal immigrants from Zimbabwe to do the jobs our people refuse to do and from Nigeria so that our leaders don’t miss out on the drug profits that are available to them and don’t forget the hordes of Chinese that we are forced to cope with because Zuma is their best friend and main supplier of Rhino horn!! “velly velly well done you plick!”

In 19 years our roads, railways, military, police, municipal services, old age homes, hospitals and orphanages have literally fallen apart and are worth nothing anymore, but then who needs them? According to the international press our country is perfect – so no need for all this helping people shit!

Another Olympic gold event is our parliament – no other country on the planet has more convicted criminals in their parliament than us!! Woo hoo!! Take that world we are the champions again!

25% of all South African school girls are HIV+ that is by no means an easy target to achieve!! Yay!! For our lack of moral fortitude!! We have out fornicated everyone in the world and spread more disease than any other country! Our school girls had 100 000 abortions last year and those are only the legal ones!! Go school girls!! And go coat hanger doctors – you make us so proud to be South African!!

We are also now the dumbest population on the planet!! The ANC lies to us, rapes us, tortures us, impoverishes us steals from us and disarms us and yet this population keeps voting them into power! You don’t get dumber than that!! Well done people – in this category you are unbeatable!!

And sadly I know that my next comment is going to piss off a lot of people but – the dumbest population includes the whites because we just keep slogging on no matter what they do to us – seems we will never be able to get rid of that “kak en betaal” mentality we grew up with!!

Well done Mr. Zuma and the ANC you are champions in so many categories that it literally brings tears to my eyes!!

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Do you think corruption-accused National Assembly Speaker Nosiviwe Mapisa-Nqakula will survive a motion of no confidence against her?
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