What women want
Women’s month is always an interesting time for me. We (men) are told (as if we aren't told during other times of the year) how amazing women are, how badly men treat them and how difficult their lives generally are.
We are counselled to desist from judging them (mansplaining), to not treat them like children (while not judging them) and finally we are told about how to look at them.
How to look at them? “Say what!” Yes you heard me, we are told when, where and how to look them. And the exact rules are determined by…well her. You see, every woman is different. Some women wake in the morning and put the mini and tank-top on because she would like some attention.
After all she is a “sexual being” (don’t ask me for explanations). Now on that day you are supposed to notice her. That day she wants to turn heads and your head better turn: else you might be in danger of affecting her self-esteem.
But down the same street may come another woman dressed exactly the same way but who is only doing so because that’s her style, or she has nothing else to wear. She doesn’t intend to turn heads and your head better not turn: else you are objectifying her. You are not supposed to notice her cleavage, her legs, her butt and whatever else she might be revealing.
“But if she dressed that way she surely must not mind if we look at her?” No, that is just rape culture and you know it (huh?). And don’t even think about being an apologist. All you should notice is her wonderful personality and her outstanding intellect.
What you must remember is that your feelings, your hormones, your rights and your opinion don’t count. Only hers does. If she is dressed in revealing attire but doesn't wish to be looked at; well then looking at her makes you a creep, misogynist and a rape apologist. It makes you part of “the problem”.
“So how can I get this right” you ask? Well you just need to sharpen your mind/body-language-reading skills my man.