When Oscar Pistorius goes to prison.

Oscar Pistorius is due for his verdict and sentencing on 11 September 2014. This is after a lengthy trial since March 2014. After millions of rand spent on his defense, countless witnesses and arguments, his fate will be known soon.

It seems impossible he will not be found guilty and receive some sort of prison time. Although going to prison will be in total contrast to the life he is used to living, here are some of the positives he will experience there and help him build himself as a better man to himself and to society.

He will be unable to shoot a gun by mistake in the canteen as he will have no access to guns and his fellow patrons might not be so understanding of his famous personality should a situation like occur.

He will have a difficult time convincing the judge he thought there was an intruder, that is why he was trying to escape. He cannot use the defense that he is scared of criminals – he is one now.

He can change his chosen profession and play a team sport, like soccer and maybe even be the goalie considering he is a double amputee. Soccer is well known for match fixing, so perhaps he should use his millions wisely in this regard!

The biggest plus for himself and anyone around him, there will NOT be any toilet doors. So anything he hears will not be his imagination. When he is angry with someone, he cannot use the defense of a door to justify his murderous antics.

All is not lost for Oscar on the love front. He will still be able to access his adoring fans and potential love interests with numerous inmate dating sites. This will lift his spirits and provide him with the opportunity to plan who he is going to kill next.

RabbleRouser 2014/08/28 03:09:27 PM
He won't be sentenced on 11 th September. That is only the start of the delivery of the verdict. Since there was a mountain of evidence it may take a few days. IF (and only if) he is found guilty then the court case will continue for arguments in mitigation and aggravation. That will be for a future date. And there may be more witnesses who will testify in mitigation. After that the judge will again take a while to decide on the appropriate sentence for whatever charges he may be found guilty. The final show will be when she hands down the sentence. And then the appeals process will begin. If the defence appeals, the court may, at it's discretion, and if the appeal application is granted, extend his bail. So it may be quite some time before he sees the inside of a jail if a guilty verdict is returned.
Alex Bax 2014/08/28 04:22:35 PM
A childish and tasteless article.
Desmond Bates 2014/08/28 06:17:44 PM
A distasteful and senseless article.
Greg Hoffmann 2014/08/29 09:37:19 AM
News24 should be embarrassed that this kind of absolute nonsense is allowed in there site. It's not funny. It's cruel. I'm not defending Oscar by no means, nor stating which way I feel the verdict should go, but this article is an immature take on a serious situation. Grow up.
Caroline Phillips 2014/08/29 10:47:18 AM
Well written, love it!
Bruce Wilson 2014/08/29 12:55:53 PM
He is charged with multiple offences. Presumably he will be sentenced with regard to them all.
Thomas De Kroon 2014/09/05 11:17:18 AM
this is a sick and very distasteful story.. may the writer's 2014/15 summer never come..
Khanyisa Betty-Bee Nondlwana 2014/09/07 12:49:05 PM
Was this really necessary? ?? You should be ashamed of yourselves news24