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We are all busy, most of us have insanely busy lives, we all live in the rat race to nowhere and we are not sought after celebrities. Even as a young man with a full life, an icon, a world renown athlete, a sought after asset, with loads of people vying for every available moment of your time… you have the right to be normal too, because that is what you are underneath the glitz and glamour. Your mind and brain are overexposed, your energy will be spent, your mind may be running in at least four different directions. You have all these responsibilities and exposure, you are rushing around from point A to point B, trying to keep everybody happy, from your trainer to your girlfriend, from your sponsors to the media. Running against time, because a day has only so many hours. Stress and anxiety would be a natural result of living in such a fast lane. Living in the fast lane has its price and for Oscar Pistorius, the ultimate price he had to pay was everything he was and everything he had. Fame and fortune took it all.
Fame doesn’t go unnoticed. If you are an icon you belong to the world. If you have money and fame, you attract all kinds of people like syrup attract a colony of ants. Everyone wants something from you; your time, your money, to be seen with you, to follow you around for a news scoop, to take ‘that’ photograph that will earn them loads of money. Everybody wants something from you, if you don’t give it out of free will, they take it in anyhow. You will be followed around by beggars and choosers, onlookers will try and get your attention, friends will surround you as if you are the one and only best friend in the world. As long as you are footing the bill and you provide the pleasure of being in the lime light, then all is perfect. Fame is without doubt, overwhelming. Normal is never normal. A normal outing to a shopping mall or a restaurant can quickly turn into a disaster, a normal outing with friends can sour the moment money is involved. Your friends can very quickly turn against you if the odds change and you are no longer a ‘provider’. When the world crashes around you, those friends will walk away without even as much as a backward glance. Money talks much louder than loyalty and Oscar learned it in the very hard and most awful way.
One forgets that with this, mostly, uncalled for attention, people around you are always intrusive. They invade your privacy and personal space. They take what doesn’t belong to them. They rob you of your peace and freedom. You have to be hyper vigilant, always ready to fight or to flee, always looking for security measures around you. In the stardom you always feel unsafe and vulnerable. Can you imagine having all the factors mentioned above, as well as a crippling disability which ensures that you are at your most vulnerable the moment your defences are down? Anxiety will be the overwhelming emotion in your life.
When cuddled up safely at home with your loved one, away from the world that robs you of your time and peace, do you always do something you should do at a given point and time? Are you always hyper vigilant? Do you write down the course of events, the date and time something particular happened? Are you continually in a state of awareness or do you relax your attention every now and then? Do you let go and just go with the flow? This happens to all of us, we are all humans. That’s your body telling you to back off, it’s down time. Even in your relaxed times, do you remember unconscious movements? Unconscious decisions? Do you take note of every little light that’s on, every little thing that’s out of its place? Do you think about your surroundings at night halfway through slumber and awake? Precisely where you put or didn’t put something in your room? Windows open or closed? Alarm on or off? How many times did both get into bed and the one suddenly remember the back door was still open or one get up in the middle of the night to check if the alarm is on? How many times in your life did you get up to eat or drink something during the night, being careful not to wake your partner because he or she might have had a hell of a day or you know the same type of day is waiting? Midnight snacks do happen, sneaking to the fridge is not something one announces to the world if you can prevent it. How many times do you check all your doors and windows if you live in a fairly safe security complex? How many times did something wake you and you think….:” Let me go and relieve myself, the night is still long and my bladder might urge me to do so later again. While I’m halfway awake anyhow, let’s just do it”. If something woke your partner and he is still busy sorting out what woke him, you continue with your own affairs if he didn’t ask for your help. You have your own pressing matters to see to. You didn’t even walk past him on your way, you slipped out behind his back.
How many times did you ever tell your partner you are going to relieve yourself? I never do, the less I talk during the night, the longer I’m half asleep, the quicker I can get back to sleep again. Not because you don’t care, but because you care. The less communication, the quicker both can get back to sleep and get some rest. So, you (Reeva) are aware that your partner (Pistorius) was uncomfortable in the heat. He mentioned it and is busy struggling with the fans on his stumps, his back turned to you. You make your way to the toilet, cell phone in the hand to lead your way. You don’t stay in the house permanently enough to have a wardrobe of your own, you still have sleep overs arriving with a bag full of clothes. You don’t know the house so well that you can find your way in utter darkness without bumping a toe. You are a photographic model, so you don’t switch on glaring lights as far as you go. Squinting your eyes in harsh lights is an absolute no-no for a model, it causes uncalled for and unnecessary wrinkles. You use your cell phone, which is always at hand, to lead the way. To wake the entire house up by switching on all the lights is also stupid if you are only going to relieve yourself, the more you can spend in a state of slumber the quicker you can get back to sleep. Walking past the window, gives you the idea to open it, maybe a draft through the room will bring a bit of relief….
Meantime your partner, because of his back was turned to you when you left the room and totally unaware of your movements, while battling with the fan and the cable in the dark, heard the window open. Bear in mind that he is a person who is (due to his profession, disability and stardom) always in some state of awareness and fairly vigilant. At that moment when he didn’t make a ruckus himself – he heard the window open. He froze for seconds, the thought that he has forgotten to check the ladders (used while painting the house), sneaked up on him. He forgot to make sure the house is safe and he is at his most vulnerable at that moment, being on his stumps. Vulnerable and at a disadvantage. He softly reacted on the noise he heard, telling ‘you’ to get down and call the police. He answered you not even minutes ago, while you were lying in bed and gave no thought of you leaving the room. His concentration was focused somewhere else and with his back turned, and making noises himself, he didn’t hear you get up and leave. When listening to soft and loud sounds simultaneously, it is often difficult to hear the soft sound as it is drowned by the loud sound. This is called masking. The masking effect is the largest when the soft sound is in the same frequency range as loud sound. Even if the soft sound is not in the same frequency range as the loud sound, masking can occur. This phenomenon can also occur when two sounds are not presented at the same time, but are spaced. For instance, a loud sound is followed by a soft sound after a brief interval, the soft sound will be masked. Scientifically proven then, the sounds you made when leaving the room were masked by the closer louder noises made while he was struggling with the fan.
Oscar concentrated intensely, his ears and eyes focused on the area the noise came from. Nothing else existed for that time as he followed up on the sound he heard. Remember now: sound waves seldom propagate freely in space. There are usually boundaries or objects disturbing the propagation. So, when sound waves hit an object, for example a wall, part of the sound wave energy is thrown back from the wall. This is called reflection, the same as a reflection of light from a mirror. The degree of reflection depends on the surface material, a hard wall will reflect whereas a wool rug on the wall will absorb part of the sound wave energy, thereby reducing the reflections. The soft commands to get down and call the police probably didn’t get past the room at all. He took his weapon he kept close at hand for self-defence and because of his previous training and adrenalin that kicked into action, it was soon a fight or flight situation. Muscle memory and practice immediately put him in fight mode, without his prosthetics fight was his only choice. Leaning on the wall for support, he moves down the hallway and sees the bathroom window open. He starts yelling for the intruder to get out of the house. He also yells to you to call the Police.
Let’s talk about fight or flight, the classic occurrence in all human beings. When we perceive a significant threat to us, then our bodies get ready either for a fight to the death or a desperate flight from certain defeat by a clearly superior adversary.
Fight or flight effects include:
Our senses sharpening. Pupils dilate (open out) so we can see more clearly, even in intense darkness. Our hairs stand on end, making us more sensitive to our environment (and also making us appear larger, hopefully intimidating our opponent).
The cardio-vascular system is leaping into action, with the heart pump rate increasing noticeably and our arteries constricting to maximize pressure around the system whilst the veins open out to ease return of blood to the heart.
The respiratory system joining in as the lungs, throat and nostrils open up and breathing speeding up to get more air in the system so the increased blood flow can be re-oxygenated. The blood carries oxygen to the muscles, allowing them to work harder and quicker. Deeper breathing causes and helps us to scream more loudly!
Fat from fatty cells and glucose from the liver being metabolized to create instant energy.
Blood vessels to the kidney and digestive system being constricted, effectively shutting down systems that are not essential. A part of this effect is reduction of saliva in the mouth.
Blood vessels to the skin are being constricted reducing any potential blood loss. Sweat glands also open, providing an external cooling liquid to our over-worked system. (this makes the skin look pale and clammy).
Endorphins, which are the body's natural pain killers, are released (when you are fighting, you do not want be bothered with pain–-that can be put off until later.)
The natural judgment system is also turned down and more primitive responses take over–this is a time for action rather than deep thought.
Unfortunately, in modern times, we are historically too close to the original value of this primitive response for our systems to have evolved to a more appropriate use of it, and many of life’s stresses trigger this response. The surprises and shocks of modern living leave us in a permanent state of arousal that takes its toll on our bodies, as described by Hans Selye's General Adaptation Syndrome.
The effect also happens when a creative new idea makes us feel uncertain about things of which we previously were sure. The biochemical changes in our brain make us aggressive, fighting the new idea, or make us timid, fleeing from it.
A third alternative response which often comes before fight or flight is freezing. This is often used by prey as they seek not to be noticed by predators and is typified by the rabbit paralyzed by the headlights of an oncoming car. Humans also will pause at signs of danger. By freezing, you also cut down on noise and visual change and so may hear or see things around you more clearly. Freezing gives you time to assess the situation and, if necessary you may then take further action, including fighting or backing away. Another automatic, unthinking reaction when faced with a sudden threat is to go into a 'shield' mode. Turning away to use the back as a shield is also common. When with a child or another person, the protection instinct may cause you to throw your body around them, pulling them in and literally becoming a 'human shield' or automatically place yourself between the perceived danger and the other person.
Beyond shielding or perhaps as an extension of it, we will even sacrifice ourselves to help others, for example where a soldier 'takes the bullet' for a colleague. When people are praised for being heroes, a common response is to say that they 'didn't think about it'. In other words, it was an automatic reaction to help others, even at the potential cost of one's own life. This willingness to sacrifice is an essential element of humanity and society, even if we never have to take this action. That was precisely the involuntary human actions Pistorius took when he became aware of the perceived danger lurking in his bathroom.
Getting to Reeva: Oblivious of what was going on in the room, you were relieving yourself. You got up, pulled up your shorts and flushed the toilet out of habit and decency (you’re a guest in the house). Simultaneously, you hear Oscar start screaming and shouting somewhere close. Blissfully unaware that he thinks you to be the intruder and safe in your little cocoon, you slam the door shut and lock it for safety. You are now ready to do what you were asked and to call the police. Next moment you hear the shots and at the same time you’ve been slammed in the hip. All this happened in a space of time much less than a second. The next moment your knees crumple up and you’re falling, your last thought a millisecond of surprise and a numb, dazed feeling, a consciousness of being very badly hurt, but no pain in the ordinary sense. Then nothing, no pain, no shock, no reaction… in a matter of seconds it was all over.
“I don’t think she survived very long thereafter,” testified retired pathologist Jan Botha.
Botha said the four shots fired at Steenkamp that hit her thigh, arm and finally her head would have taken about four seconds, five at most.
He also said: “Before she could react the remaining bullets would have struck her.”
“So I think death ensued very quickly after sustaining the head injury,” said Botha.
A bullet that hit the right side of Steenkamp's head fractured her skull and entered her brain. She would have lost consciousness and "the deceased probably didn't breathe more than a few times after sustaining this wound", the pathologist, Saayman, said when he testified in court. "The wound to the head was incapacitating and probably almost instantly fatal."
I think it would be safe to say, that even if Reeva had pain, it was fleeting seconds. She never suffered like it was portrayed and discussed in the media. Before she even realized what had happened to her, it was all over. Reeva’s father, Barry Steenkamp, said during his testimony he had pushed his diabetes needles into his own stomach and arms to try to feel some of the pain she must have felt. I think it would be fair to say he suffered more and longer than Reeva did after being shot. As described: Victims are almost always surprised that they are critically wounded, with the pain only really setting in once they wake up with injuries and disabilities. Numbness and a tremendous shock - no pain, only a violent shock, such as you get from an electric terminal; with it a sense of utter weakness, a feeling of being stricken are also some of the descriptions of feeling after a gun shot, and that is also to say, not after an incapacitating head shot.
“What she must have gone through in those split seconds. She must have been in so much fear and pain. That is what I think of all the time. I can see it myself. It must have been absolutely and utterly awful,” Barry Steenkamp said. I have to disagree, without being inhumane, Reeva never had time to think about fear or feel pain. Test yourself how much you can think and feel in five seconds… thank goodness, not much. It was all over before reality struck.
The aftermath of flushing the toilet, could be this point Pistorius said he heard a noise from inside the cubicle? He thought he heard someone coming out of the cubicle towards him. He fired four times through the door in a panicked reaction. Afterwards he said he believed it was the was the magazine rack moving, which prompted him to open fire four times. The sound of the aftermath of water flowing into the toilet could easily be confused with the sound of movement of the wooden magazine rack on the tile floor. In a state of panic and anxiety, his senses could be distorted. Your ears and your hearing are surprisingly sensitive to change. Much like the way that your ears pop and plug whenever you go up or down hills, the smallest change in your body's stasis can cause your hearing and your ears to feel very different than they were previously. Since anxiety is a complete body condition, it should be no surprise that anxiety can also affect your hearing. Some of the symptoms of anxiety represent real changes in the way your body reacts to stress. Others are perceived changes - meaning that your symptoms aren't caused by any physical issue, but rather the way that your mind converts information. It's likely that your brain is simply processing information poorly. In his state of panic, in his mind there was an intruder who moved the magazine rack. The thought of the toilet flushing never crossed his mind because an intruder wouldn’t flush the toilet. Never in his wildest dreams did he think Reeva was there because he didn’t hear her leaving the bedroom. The last time he spoke to her was in the bedroom and she was still in bed. Forensic experts also concluded the sound that prompted him to shoot, was the moment Reeva flushed the toilet. It was the final straw.
Pistorius had maintained from his bail application that, in hindsight, he believed Reeva got up and went to the bathroom in the early hours of that fateful morning because she wanted to relieve herself, which was a logical deduction and is normal human behaviour. While evidence was led pertaining to the minute amounts of urine in her bladder - that the defence said was proof she had urinated - public debate raged as to whether Reeva had flushed the toilet. Among the photographs taken by the police and submitted as evidence is the inside of the toilet bowl, which shows columns of blood separated by clear areas where water had evidently been flowing.
Private forensic expert Kobus Steyl, who was interviewed for a book, said it was clear the toilet was flushed and described the sequence of events as Steenkamp was locked behind the door.
“She must have flushed the toilet, received the gunshots, thereafter she covers the toilet bowl with the blood before the water removes some of the blood,” he said. Steyl said the water that was still flowing from the cistern was towards the end of the flush, which is why all the blood was not washed away. He said the flush could not have occurred after the shots because that would have washed away all the blood in the bowl, as well as the fine splinters picked up by the bullets through the door that had come to settle on the porcelain. He is quoted further in the book, stating that by placing a dye in the cistern and flushing it, one could easily have established the flow pattern. He was adamant that these facts should have been presented to the court.
“You never know whether it could play a vital role towards the end of the case when all the information is put together. It is for the court to decide what is important or not,” he said.
So why was this evidence not led by either the State or the defence? Could it be that experts for both the prosecution and defence could have overlooked this possibly crucial evidence?
A forensic expert, Roger Dixon, who has followed the case closely also said that if the State had presented evidence proving Steenkamp had indeed flushed the toilet, it would have undermined their version that the couple had had a fight and she fled to the bathroom to hide. For the defence, he said the flush would have raised questions over Pistorius’s belief that an intruder had entered the house and was hiding behind the door. The fact that he obviously couldn’t and didn’t hear her leave the room didn’t count to the State at all. The human factor was ignored in this case.
“This was the third startle. It destroys the State’s case totally. With the third startle, his worst fears are confirmed. That’s the crux of the case,” he says, referring to the defence’s argument that Pistorius opened fire instinctively as a reaction to a noise emanating from the cubicle.
“It destroys the ‘I’m going to chase you and kill you because I don’t like you any more’ idea. It shows that she went to the toilet with her cell phone, under her own steam, no hurry, no rush. When he yelled, she reacted by locking the door,” it must have been a fraction of a second after she flushed the toilet.
In his evidence, Pistorius said: “I started screaming and shouting for the burglar or the intruders to get out of my house. I shouted for Reeva to get down on the floor.”
“I shouted for her to phone the police. I screamed at the people, the persons to get out.”
According to the athlete, the sound of the toilet door slamming shut was enough to convince him that intruders were indeed in the house. In his anxiety he lost total control of his emotions and logical thinking.
“I was not sure if someone was going to come out of the toilet to attack me,” he said, while giving evidence during the trial.
“I was not sure if someone was going to come up the ladder and point a firearm in the house and start shooting, so I just stayed where I was and kept on screaming.”
Pistorius being a normal human being, screaming and shouting with fear would never pick up the normal movements and the sounds of someone using a toilet, someone re-dressing and flushing the toilet. His screams and shouts would drown Reeva’s subtle sounds. When listening to soft and loud sounds simultaneously it’s impossible to hear the soft sounds as they are drowned out by the loud noise. Add the acoustic properties of the bathroom and the passage towards it, the resonance, the acoustic amplification and reverberation of the screams (sounds), there is no way on this earth Pistorius would be able to hear the rustle of clothes and the flushing of the toilet. Humanly impossible if you want to be honest with yourself.
Anxiety is the body’s natural response to danger, an automatic alarm that goes off when you feel threatened, under pressure, or when you are facing a stressful situation. An anxiety attack, people may feel fearful, apprehensive, may feel their heart racing or feel short of breath, but it's very short lived, and when the stressor goes away, so does the anxiety attack. Panic attack on the other hand doesn't come in reaction to a stressor. It's unprovoked and unpredictable. We can clearly see that Pistorius suffered from an anxiety attack switching over in a full blown panic attack. A severe reaction after he heard an unknown and unpredicted noise which startled him. In moderation, anxiety isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, anxiety can help you stay alert and focused, spur you to action, and motivate you to solve problems. When anxiety is constant, or overwhelming, when it interferes with your relationships and activities, it stops being functional—that’s when you’ve crossed the line from normal, productive anxiety into the territory of anxiety disorders. Because anxiety disorders are a group of related conditions rather than a single disorder, they can look very different from person to person. One individual may suffer from intense anxiety attacks that strike without warning, while another gets panicky only at the thought of mingling at a party. Someone else may struggle with a disabling fear of driving, or uncontrollable, intrusive thoughts. Yet another may live in a constant state of tension, worrying about anything and everything and I would say this was the state in which Pistorius lived. His fame, the intrusion of his personal space and his disability had him always on the edge. In Pistorius’ Defense Statement he mentioned that he was acutely aware of violent crimes being committed by intruders entering homes with a view to commit crimes, including violent crimes. In South Africa home invasions are very common and a cause for near paranoia among some homeowners. He also stated that he has received death threats before and that he has been a victim of violence and burglaries before. Death threats against celebrities are a common occurrence and part of their constant fear and trepidation. Environmental factors such as an overcautious view of the world expressed by parents (it’s known that his mother transferred some of her fears to him) and cumulative stress over a long time have been found to be correlated with panic attacks. Situationally bound panic attacks mean it is an associating of certain situations with panic attacks, due to having experienced one in that particular situation. It can create a cognitive or behavioral predisposition to having panic attacks in certain situations.
Pistorius had a previous situation that contributed to his anxiety. Peet van Zyl was Pistorius’ manager since 2006. He testified in court that Pistorius always tended to be anxious – regardless of whether they were driving in the car, sitting around the dinner table at his home or if he was in his hotel room. When Pistorius competed, they were in each other’s company almost full-time, he said. Also in Italy, where they were based, or went to compete. When they were travelling in a car, he would tell Peet, “’Remember the time I was hijacked and had a firearm against my head’. He just wanted to make sure I was safe.” When they were at Oscar’s house at Silver Woods Estate in the east of Pretoria, security was also the main thing on Oscar’s mind. “I struggled to get him to concentrate. He was fidgety all the time. He would glance around him and ask the domestic worker if she was sure the doors were locked and he’d asked her where the dogs were . . .” He also testified that when Pistorius looked for parking at a function or event it would be in an open space where he had easy access. It also had to be near lighting so the area would be lit up if he needed to walk to his car in the dark. Overseas Oscar kept himself behind lock and key in his hotel room.
Despite their different forms, all anxiety disorders share one major symptom: persistent or severe fear or worry in situations where most people wouldn’t feel threatened. Anxiety is more than just a feeling. As a product of the body’s fight-or-flight response, anxiety involves a wide range of physical symptoms. Anxiety attacks, sometimes also known as panic attacks, are episodes of intense panic or fear. Anxiety attacks usually occur suddenly and without warning. Sometimes there’s an obvious trigger—getting stuck in an elevator, for example, or thinking about the big speech you have to give—but in other cases, the attacks come out of the blue like the unforeseen and unpredicted noise of a window opened. Anxiety attacks usually peak within 10 minutes, and they rarely last more than 30 minutes. But during that short time, the terror can be so severe that you feel as if you’re about to die or totally lose control. That was typical behavior and precisely what happened to Pistorius, he totally lost control of all his senses when the debilitating fear overwhelmed him.
“What makes Mr Pistorius different [from] other offenders are that he has a physical disability and general anxiety disorder, so his reaction to events would be different,” forensic psychiatrist Dr Meryl Vorster testified in court during the trial.
“If placed in an environment where you are not safe, your anxiety would increase. Mr Pistorius heard an intruder, so he had escalating levels of anxiety.”
“His physical vulnerability makes him more anxious. His vulnerability makes him want to conceal his physical disability,” she said.
“His reaction to perceived threats should be considered in his physical disability,” she said.
A psychiatrist’s suggestion that Pistorius had generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) at the time of the shooting incident has sparked panic amidst the disorder’s sufferers, the Sunday Times reported.
The SA Depression and Anxiety Group’s director, Cassey Chambers, told the newspaper that it had received “hundreds of calls” from people who were concerned that having the disorder could lead to “unpredictable, unstable and violent” behaviour. “We have had people asking if their loved ones with GAD need to be hospitalised immediately.” Chambers said that the chance of sufferers of the disorder turning violent were slim. ‘Sufferers of GAD are highly unlikely to be dangerous to others’
“Anxiety is an introspective issue and sufferers of GAD are highly unlikely to be dangerous to others,” she said.
Media hype and assumptions at their best. False allegations that Pistorius was unstable, unpredictable and violent and insinuating it, is absolutely unfair and unjust.
The Oscar Pistorius trial featured two important timelines: the timeline of events before the shots that killed Reeva Steenkamp were fired and a timeline of events after the shots were fired. Everything the couple did before the shots took place are evident of normal, considering human behaviour. The fear of an unknown sound was normal; the anxiety was normal especially when taking the kind of life, they were living in consideration. The urge to relieve a full bladder was normal, not discussing it with your partner was normal. Pistorius’ acceptance that she was still in bed where she was before he turned away from her and battled with a fan, was normal. For Reeva to flush the toilet as a guest in a new boyfriend’s house was normal. To lock the cubicle door in reaction to warning shouts and screams was normal. To instinctively choose fight rather than flight was normal for someone with a disability. It was normal for an Olympic athlete who is not scared of life as such, but who took life and its challenges head on. To retrieve a weapon for self-defence purposes was normal, Pistorius was not the first and will not be the last one choosing the option to protect his loved one. To cock the weapon was normal, it was practiced and ingrained during his self-defence courses – muscle memory and pure instinct. To scream and shout warnings in terror was normal human behaviour and to shoot in reflex after the final startle, confirming his worst fears of an intruder came true, was only human.
Looking at all the mentioned facts, the timeline of events portrays only normal human behaviour and nothing sinister, as was forced down by the State throughout the case. There was absolutely no chance of Pistorius to be shown as a normal human being with normal human behaviour, everything he did and said were twisted to suit the witch hunters. Reeva was pictured as close to a saint, no normal human behaviour accepted or allowed from her either. She was not allowed to relax and drop her clothes on the floor. She was not allowed (let’s rephrase), it was never assumed or tolerated that she could sneak to the kitchen for a midnight snack without Pistorius’ knowledge. That he could be fast asleep at that stage was never in the equation. Reeva could also easily de-activate and activate the alarm with the remote. The possibility was never even taken in consideration or tested. A need to relieve herself at night was beyond the state prosecutor’s comprehension. In his eyes, only fear for Pistorius would do and he forced his assumption to change it into a fact. Nel hammered his central accusation - that the couple had an argument and Steenkamp fled to the toilet pursued by Pistorius, who then shot her through the closed wooden door.
'You knew that Reeva went behind the door and you shot at her,' Nel said during cross questioning. 'You shot at her knowing she was behind the door.' Pistorius denied the accusation (as he had all the right to do), because in his mind, Reeva was still safe in bed where he spoke to her the last time. He said about the night he shot her and that concluded that it was normal loving human behaviour:
“I was simply trying to protect Reeva.”
