Racism: Name your poison
This debate has taken some extreme turns, one, which I heard on the radio this week, really had me shaking my head. A white woman in Woolies had run her trolley into the heels of a black woman, who accused her of racism. It might have been an accident, as the white woman said, or it might be what whites get up to. I’m white and I don’t do that, but I can’t speak for everyone.
I do know, though, from examining my own behaviour, that racism has many names and faces. I don’t hate black people, I don’t begrudge them anything, I cheer when they succeed because I like to see people winning at last, and it’s good for all of us if any of us succeeds. But, you might have noticed, it’s still ‘them’ and ‘me’. That’s how I grew up, and it’s easier to rejoice with my black countrymen who succeed, and embrace our free society, than it is to change that kind of mental conditioning.
So, I don’t use the K-word, I don’t ascribe genetic weaknesses to blacks, I’m not constantly bitching because the face of the country is Africanising, but I do confess, I’m patronising towards blacks. I was in a paint shop with another customer this morning, a trendy older black man in a tweed cap and Levis, and he was chatting and joking and I was bestowing warm smiles on him for being so with it. I wouldn’t have responded that way to a white guy who fitted that profile. I think I was charmed by the novelty, as if my gardener had suddenly acquired some sophistication.
I’m aware of it, and I do challenge myself, and it’s probably not going to get me called out on social media (especially now that I’ve made it public myself). There are probably other subtle racisms that whites and even blacks aren’t consciously aware of, which are going to take time to erase, if ever they are. Wouldn’t it be more realistic to apply that excellent wisdom, that you can’t control others’ thoughts and behaviour, only your own?
I wish that the whole discussion could move up a few levels. When stupid people say things – and it seems even judges can fit that description – please don’t seize it as proof that all white people are bitter and angry (some of us are just mildly patronising). I can understand that would be annoying to any self-respecting person, but have a little empathy, we’re victims of the same system you were. I don’t think it calls for lynching or impalement. Is it too much to ask that you give us the benefit of the doubt if we run into your heels in the supermarket? Just assume we’re ordinary morons instead of racists. If I treat you with mild disrespect, can we try to tackle it more constructively? Imagine if all the reasonable people among us respond to each other that way. I’m doing my bit, trying not to pat cute black babies on the head.