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Johannesburg - Murder convicted Oscar Pistorius has lamented why his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp did not tell him she was going to the bathroom the night he shot through his toilet door four times, killing her.
In his first television interview since the incident, with ITV's Mark Williams-Thomas, the former paralympian described his version of the events of February 14, 2013.
He said that after they had supper that night, he and Reeva went to bed.
"So we sat in bed for a while and I just said to her: 'Listen, if I fall asleep, would you mind just closing the doors and switching off the telly, and then I pretty much fell asleep after that'," Pistorius said in the interview that was carried locally on M-Net's Carte Blanche on Friday night.
"It must have been shortly after 3 o'clock that I woke up. I had opened my eyes, the curtains weren't drawn closed, and the sliding doors were still open. Reeva had forgotten to close them."
After describing the events leading to him firing through the door Pistorius said he now questions all the variables of that night.
"You can ask yourself a million times why didn't I just close the [sliding] door before I went to bed? Why didn't Reeva close the door? Why didn't, when she got up to go toilet just tell me? Why didn't she shout at me from the toilet?
"All these things, I can't say why she didn't do them, she didn't do anything wrong, But it is difficult... to know if one of those small things didn't happen, that the situation would be different, and I would still have her here with me."
When questioned over criticisms that he was a poor witness during his trial, he said: "I had been in court by the time I took the stand, probably close on 30 days and I unfortunately had to deal with the police for a year and several months leading up to that".
"I disclosed to the court that I was on medication, that I was on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety and sleeping tablets."
Pretoria High Court Judge Thokozile Masipa is expected to hand down a murder sentence for Pistorius on July 6.
The Supreme Court of Appeal previously overturned her verdict of culpable homicide for Pistorius, and replaced it with one of murder.
