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10 insanely weird things you missed on Gumtree and OLX today

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Another day, another crop of the weirdest ads in the online classifieds.

These range from pure and funny spelling errors that give unexpected meanings to the ads, to odd pictures accompanying the ads, to stuff that is just downright weird.

Who looks for some of these things on Gumtree or OLX? Like an antique ox-drawn dam scoop  (Huh – does anyone know that this even is?) and a 1.2m rat snake?

Every time you think you have now seen and experienced everything, I can guarantee you will find something in the online classifieds that will manage to surprise you. Like the ad for the slightly worn sock. I swear I am not making this up.

1. The tired exhaust

This second-hand exhaust is like a brand new end pipe with no rust or dents, according to the owner. But the title says it is ‘exhausted’. In my book that stands for ‘ready-for the scrap-heap’ and certainly not worth the R3000 that is being charged.


See ad here

2. The giant calculator

These days you can pick up a pocket-sized calculator for a few bucks. Who on earth would want to use this enormous dinosaur to do any calculations? It’s not as if this is a valuable antique, and it’s being advertised as being in working order, so someone is meant to use it. I don’t really get this. Maybe I am just not sentimental enough.


See ad here

3. Raining on the dog’s parade

Pets and clothing don’t really mix in my book. Fine, get the dog a blanket if the weather turns nasty, but clothing? I am sure 99% of dogs really hate owners who dress them – even in the latest fashions. Guys, you are making the animals look ridiculous, and they know it. But a raincoat for a dog? Dogs are made to shake the water off their coats. Would a dog that is so pampered that it has its own raincoat really go out for walks in the rain? I need someone to explain this to me.


See ad here

4. Snake – Urgent sale

Worrying, very worrying. It looks pretty lethal to me (even if it isn’t venomous) and the phrases about the ‘urgent sale’ and the snake ‘eating readily’ seem to be telling a nasty story. I, for one, would not like to find a shed snakeskin on my bedroom floor. I am probably missing the point here, but I find large snakes such as this one downright creepy and not an ideal candidate for a cuddly pet. And the current owner seems a tad too eager to get rid of it, cage and all. (On the internet it says that ‘They grow large and powerful and are extremely fast, especially in strike speed’. It is also called an agile climber and it is said that they will bite – all of which I find very worrying.)


See ad here

5. The three flying geese

These have come to personify poor taste over the last few decades – so much so that they have become collector’s items. And at the price, these three are indeed high flyers. Maybe just the thing to give your lounge that extra something – or not.


See ad here

6. Men’s plus-size suite

OK, it might be a 5XL, but I don’t think it qualifies as a (lounge) suite yet. I think you mean ‘suit’ – as in the thing that guys wear. Next fashion in plus-size clothing: the en-suite?


See ad here

7. Last Supper ivory sculpture lid

If this is real ivory, it must be over 100 years old in order to be sold legally. If that were the case, would this piece sell for only R250? Something seems odd here. Either it’s made from bone or something else, or the seller could be expecting a knock at the door from the authorities. I’d steer clear of this one. (Oh, and I think the seller meant ‘sculpture’ not ‘sculture’.)


See ad here

8. The miracle chair from Ventersdorp

This chair looks as if it has seen better days (what’s with the orange-yellowy colour, anyway?) and can do with a fairly good clean. But the owner claims that it will make your living room ‘come alive’. What’s next? The guys from pest control?


See ad here

9. Sock it to them

This is my favourite ad today. Someone out there has a delightful sense of humour and has advertised these in ‘antiques and collectables’. The toe sticking through the slightly worn sock (only one hole – bargain) is just the best. So is the price – I can get a pack of new ones at a street stall for R50.


See ad here

10. Frog stamps

 I am no stamp collector, and while these are certainly pretty to look at if you like your frogs, I would think that it’s hardly a collector’s piece if they issued 18 000 sets of these. But then I could be wrong.


See ad here

*Susan Erasmus is a freelance writer

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