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The 5 stages of dealing with commuting

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When we were living in Gauteng, my then-boyfriend had to do the commute from Pretoria to Midrand for work.

One day, I had to visit his office for a staff function. After sitting in traffic for two and a half hours, I finally arrived, red-faced, dishevelled and incredulous.

“How can you do this every day?” I screeched. “Why are you not completely bonkers yet?”

He looked at me with a mixture of superiority and pity.

“You get used to it.”

Later, we learnt that it wasn’t the whole truth. The emotions surrounding a long commute works in stages. Much like the 5 stages of loss.

First there is Denial: “Yes our new home is 35kms from work, but it’s really not much of a trip. Besides, I’m enjoying the time I’m spending in my car. Isn’t radio just great? And of course, I can always take the bus; then I can read or catch up on work.”

Then there is Anger: “Does everyone BUY their licenses these days? And WHY aren’t the robots in synch? And are the bus drivers striking to spite me specifically?”

Next comes Bargaining: “If I just get up at 3am every morning, I can easily be at work at 6. Which means I have to be in bed by 9pm, but that’s fine. I’ll just never go out in the week again. Or watch TV. Or spend time with my partner.”

Fourth is Depression: “I’m just going to quit my job. I mean, what’s the point anyway? We’re all just hamsters on a wheel in any case. Driving nowhere to do nothing that doesn’t accomplish anything.”

And finally Acceptance: “You get used to it.”

Of course, acceptance doesn’t last very long. If there’s been an accident on De Waal Drive or some sort of pile up on Gillooly’s (it’s always Gillooly’s isn’t it) it’s easy to slip back into anger. Or when you get a new phone that takes amazing pictures you slip happily back into denial, snapping pics of your journey and posting it on Instagram – probably causing accidents all along the way.

But no one had it worse than this guy – his commute took him eight hours a day! What’s worse is that by the time his 2-10pm shift was over, he’d only get home at about 4 am.

Currently, I have the opportunity to live close to work. This does mean that my apartment is the size of a shoebox and my neighbours are either in a band, or trying to be in a band, but at least I can walk to work when the fancy strikes me.

How do you get to work in the mornings? And at what stage of dealing with commuting are you?

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