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"I don't need a rainbow to support equality"

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This weekend I went away to celebrate Christmas in Winter – an annual festival in the gorgeous town of Tulbagh.

I didn’t use my phone much due to signal difficulties and just letting go while having a fabulous time ‘unplugged’ as it were.

Sometimes, not logging in is as good as a holiday – but that’s a different topic for a different day.

When I got home on Monday, I checked in with internet land, and found that hundreds of my Facebook friends had all changed their profile pictures over the weekend, using a special rainbow filter to show their support and delight with the passing of the new law in America, legalizing gay marriage in all 50 states.

It made me smile to see the rainbows and a few of the Obama memes incited a good-natured laugh. All in all the spirit of the thing was felt and I was glad such a positive response was out there for all to see.

Obaman unicorn
Meme: Tumblr

But I myself didn’t feel the need to filter my picture. Not because I don’t support the passing of this law. Not because I have no personal sentiment on the matter. Not even because I am a rainbow Grinch who abhors kittens and all things joyful (far from it).

As I sat over our regular cup of tea with my GBF (gay best friend), we discussed the peer-pressure effect of these Facebook trends and how we are simply not those types of people. We don’t like to buy into everything that is done by everyone else, simply because everybody else is doing it.

When everyone was sharing their ‘Year on Facebook’ video clips, we didn’t click the link. When a ‘Send this message to 10 people’ group email comes round we delete. When others were posting a Christian emblem for the freedom of persecution, we stayed with our own usual profile pictures, though both of us believe all people should be free of persecution no matter what their creed and colour. Or their sexuality.

When the world began twerking, we shared a fun and hearty ‘lang-arm’ romp around the dance floor at his wedding to his husband, which, yes I did attend, and yes I was thrilled for them, and yes I do wholeheartedly believe they are made for each other and I was honoured and privileged to have been able to celebrate that special moment in their love and their lives. Regardless of my lack of rainbow filter today.

But not all of facebook was as colourful. Some nastys began posting a backlash of religious rants about the evils of homosexuality, misinterpreted bible verses, how God will punish America, and how 3 days before this law was passed a bolt of lighting struck Washington DC Monument. This laughable YouTube clip was one that arrived in my feed, displaying the not-so-laughable matter of how backwards and bigoted some fanatics still are.

To which I though: Really? Three days before the fact, God felt moved to strike down with great vengeance and furious anger with a bolt of lightning to a very convenient lightning rod-shaped structure that has, in the past, been struck countless times whenever the storm blew in that particular direction?

You don’t think he might have had a little better aim (not to mention timing) if he was indeed that angry and have thrown a few sparks at Obama himself, or caused a plague to strike a gay or two out there? I don’t know about you, but if I was the all-mighty and had a strong feeling about this as the haters will have us believe, I would have used a little more thunder up my sleeve and flexed my oh-so-disapproving muscle a little more directly. (Please note the sarcasm)

Still, the hateful backlash by some in light of this news made me slightly inclined to filter-up to show them a big ‘F-you’, but it is my belief that doing something out of the spirit of anger never solves anything and isn’t what I want my life to be about. So I still chose to stick with my regular profile pic.

You see, I don’t need a rainbow to support equality for people. I don’t need to believe in ‘gay’ rights – because I believe in human rights. I don’t need to be told to love transgender people, or to accept black people, or to stop shaming fat people – because I strive to love, accept and not shame people.

In my world, there are only people. The outside is just a package and I see through that with very little difficulty.

For me, love always wins because there is only love. It is all I will allow into my life, and all I will strive to show other people. Even those bigots (though a few feed-blocks are in order.) That is the message I learned from my upbringing in the church – that we are to love, not hate.

This weekend I showed my support for gay rights and my undeniable belief in the freedom of gay marriage by spending a lovely weekend with my married gay friends, my single gay friends, my husband and a small circle of chosen heteros whom I love dearly. Just like every weekend.

Follow Pami on Twitter or read her blog

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