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They look at the sort of articles I write, and the things I say, and call me "brave" to say things a lot of other people wouldn’t dare to say.
Honestly, I’m not brave, I’m just used to conflict. I grew up in a hyper-religious family with some very extreme views.
I attended protests as a child, learned how to debate Christian apologetics as a teenager, and then rejected religion as an adult.
I mean, I used to be both a Creationist and a Geocentrist. (I’m neither now, of course.) Even people who are Creationists think Geocentrists, people who believe Earth is the centre of the Universe, are weird.
I’m used to holding some unpopular views that cause flame wars the moment you mention them.
At this point, people getting angry at me for saying things as uncontroversial as "blackface is racism" are just plain funny to me.
Conflict really doesn’t frighten me, or bother me, much at all. I know I say things that are going to cause a reaction, and I’m mostly OK with that reaction.
What upsets me is how much hatred and harassment a friend of mine receives, far more hate than I do, and how difficult her life is made for her, when all she’s doing is desperately trying to exist.
My friend doesn’t troll racists and the religious by posting extremely blasphemous (but very funny) pictures or writing articles about why she hates white people. She posts inspirationals and talks about love.
She does not have an abrasive, aggressive personality. She’s one of the sweetest people you’ll ever interact with. Like most people, my friend tries to avoid conflict, to keep her nose clean and her head down, and to avoid trouble.
Yet she’s constantly fighting against attackers for nothing more or less than the right to exist as herself, to be who she is.
This is because my friend is trans.
When you’re trans, it seems like you don’t have to go looking for trouble. You’re in trouble. From the moment you realize your gender identity doesn’t match your physical gender, people are angry with you.
My friend says a trans child’s parents are often their first bullies, the first people to refuse to accept them for who they are.
The way trans children are often treated by their families and communities, with point-blank refusal to accept and respect them, proves that this is true.
Parental bullying is only the first in a long line of constant attacks and indignities a trans person is forced to go through.
Right now, my friend is fighting for the simplest thing that’s been taken away from her: The right to use her own name.
Names are important. In myths and stories, knowing someone’s "true name" gives you control over them. Taking away someone’s name takes away part of their identity. It attacks them on a fundamental level.
A few days ago, my friend tried to log into Facebook, only to find that she would not be allowed to access her account until she changed her name. Someone, no doubt someone transphobic, had reported her for her name.
She was forced to revert back to an old nickname.
My friend has messaged Facebook, has tweeted them, and has started a change.org petition with over 170 supporters so far.
Some of her friends changed their Facebook names in protest. Facebook is completely ignoring her requests.
The only action they’ve taken so far is to lock me out of my profile as well, demanding I submit my ID before I access it again.
What’s so infuriating to me is I receive hate mail from strangers on Facebook all the time, but reporting them does absolutely nothing.
No doubt the person who reported my profile is either just another transphobe, or one of these people who follow me on Facebook purely to find reasons to harass me.
Instead of helping to protect its users, Facebook is helping people to harass them. Facebook’s name policy has made it a transphobe’s haven.
Don’t like trans people existing? Just report their names to Facebook and Facebook will help you drive the knife in.
My friend has done nothing to deserve this treatment, and instead of protecting her, Facebook is just another one of her bullies. It’s sickening, and heart breaking.
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