Single fathers, your children come first!

Apart from my uncle and my cousin, I think everybody else wants someone to be with and someone to go home to after work. Companionship; as the good book explains, is what keeps us human and well balanced. Finding love as a single parent can be a daunting experience, one designed to test your maturity in a most confusing way and awakening attitudes you had long discarded.

Well, there are a lot of reason fathers find themselves having to re-embark in the dating game. Worst of them all is the tragic loss of your longtime love while you are still young. I know a friend in the similar situation but I have no guts to ask if he is looking again. I am afraid for him because the game has drastically changed from how it used to be in our time. (Allow me to laugh-out-loud as my imagination dishes up some examples). It is now more of mind games, chemistry with more of your wallet taking the leading role, all from what I have heard of-cause. Other situations are those of divorce and breakups, but all have one thing in common, you are left with children.

One thing I can advise to fathers out there who are looking is that they need to first and foremost accept that the fierce lion that once existed doesn't have to pursue its prey at all costs anymore. Relax! You have children now and whoever catches your attention has to acknowledge and adjust herself in harmony with that. Yes, it does sound selfish, but you cannot be engaging and entertaining girly habits of having your phone calls not returned, your texts, your emails, Facebook posts, Twitter and even your telegrams being ignored. (There I reveal how ancient I am).

But also, try not to use physical mail or she might use the excuse that SA Post Office was on strike, making her not to receive your letters. (This bloody government cannot even run a Post Office). You had a wife, a mother to your children, surely whoever you are looking for needs to be a woman not a girl, meaning that she must say what she means or do what she would accept when it is done to her. The setup and home program you had when your other half was around need not change drastically because of this new half you are pursuing. Resturanting and night outs should not interfere with the time you had dedicated to your children. Being a single father means that your daily plans needs to be kept and not changed on last minutes or your children will frustrate your new relationship before you even get that much anticipated first kiss. It all comes down to respect.

Younger women are gorgeous, sizzling, yes we all know that, but is that what you need? Remember that you are looking for love again, not adopting a big child. Besides, you already have children and they need your attention. Playing hard to get or trying to read whether that ‘no’ was a real ‘no’ or it sounded like an encouraging ‘maybe’ is just not what you would like to be engaging in. No Sir!

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