How to turn your man on

A GOOD sex life is important in keeping a relationship alive and exciting. But sometimes things go wrong between the sheets. This is why you should know which buttons to press on your man’s body to turn up some heat.

DO’S DURING SEX

Ease into it: Don’t rush into sex with him. Take time to entice him and slowly get him aroused. This will make his experience more pleasurable.

Touching: Spend time touching him intensely from his chest down to his thighs. Touch him closer to the sensitive part to turn up the heat some more.

Take charge: Don’t wait for him to make a move. Initiate sex without him asking for it.

Pleasure yourself: Men like to see women take their sexual desires in their own hands. So, while you’re working to bring up his level of excitement, don’t forget to work on your own too. He is likely to see what you are doing and try to do it to you himself.

NO TIME FOR BLAME

When a man doesn’t get turned on easily, a woman might be quick to blame herself. But sexologist, Dr Jireh Serfontein, says, “Every guy is different. What works for one will not necessarily result in sparks for another. There are several things that can lead to difficulty getting aroused for men. Stress and fatigue can result in poor arousal.” She adds, “Medical problems such as diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease and depression can also cause arousal problems.” She says that people who talk about their sex lives and sexual expectations have a better sex life, they know what to do, how to do it and when to do it during a time of passion. “Women might feel that they are not sexy, that they are not ‘doing’ it for their partner and that the problem is with them. This could result in selfblame,” Dr Jireh says.

GETTING IT UP

Any form of sexual dysfunction can lead to serious problems. “It can cause a low libido for both partners, resulting couple avoiding sex,” Dr Jireh says. “There are a lot of over-the-counter remedies available that assist with erections but the problem with these tablets is that their safety hasn’t been established. It is safer to talk to a doctor to get prescription medication that has been well researched, is safe and effective.” She says some women, especially if there are relationship issues, might look for sex elsewhere. Men may feel insecure about the problem and women might not know how to start the conversation, thinking it will upset their man. But the fact of the matter is that, if you don’t talk about it, you will not be able to get to the solution.