Share

#BabesWodumo: We shouldn't ask 'Why didn't she leave?' but 'Why didn't he stop?' – gender violence specialist

In the early hours of Monday morning, gqom artist Bongekile "Babes Wodumo" Simelane went live on social media app Instagram with graphic visuals of her partner, Mandla "Mampintsha" Maphumulo launching a physical attack on her. 

Simelane is seen asking her attacker "Ung'shayelani? Ung'shayelani?" and saying "Ng'zok'bamba uzobona, ung'jwayel'amasimba", which loosely translates to "Why are you hitting me? Why are you hitting me?" and "I will catch you out, you are disrespecting me".

Speaking to News24 on Monday evening, People Opposing Women Abuse activist Rosie Motene said although she couldn't speak on the artist's behalf, the video looked like a cry for help.

Earlier, Simelane's sister, Nondumiso, told Channel24 that the violence was a "regular occurrence".

READ MORE: Official statement released by Babes Wodumo's Twitter account

While the video sparked outrage among many South Africans, the perennial question around cases of systemic abuse - "Why didn't she leave?" - was asked by many.

"The question should not be 'Why didn't she leave?', it should be 'Why didn't he stop?'" gender violence specialist Lisa Vetten told News24, explaining that this type of questioning shifts the burden of gender-based violence from the perpetrator to the survivor.

Statistics South Africa reports that the rate of murder of females increased drastically by 117% between 2015 and 2016/17.

ALSO READ: Police open inquiry docket following Babes Wodumo assault

Simelane and Maphumulo share a personal and working relationship, and this, according to Vetten, may make it harder for her to leave the relationship.

Maphumulo not only manages Simelane, he can also be seen and heard in many of her videos and songs.

"That is very close monitoring, surveillance and isolation of an individual. It speaks to someone who is very jealous and possessive," Vetten said.

Experts argue that the question "Why didn't she leave?" is often asked by individuals with a very shallow understanding of the complexities of an abusive relationship.

"We have got to respect women's autonomy and agency, this includes the process of decision-making, which is really not that easy.

"When you take that away from her, you indirectly confirm that women cannot think for themselves," she said.

In Simelane's case, Vetten argues that the social media video is a clear example of her process of decision-making.

"If you go back to the radio interview that exposed the abuse, you can clearly see she was not ready to confront it, but the social media video is showing us the process.

"She has come to a point where she is showing people what happened. People do not wake up and decide that they do not love their partner anymore - it is a process."

KEEP UPDATED on the latest news by subscribing to our FREE newsletter.

- FOLLOW News24 on Twitter

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
Who we choose to trust can have a profound impact on our lives. Join thousands of devoted South Africans who look to News24 to bring them news they can trust every day. As we celebrate 25 years, become a News24 subscriber as we strive to keep you informed, inspired and empowered.
Join News24 today
heading
description
username
Show Comments ()
Voting Booth
Should the Proteas pick Faf du Plessis for the T20 World Cup in West Indies and the United States in June?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes! Faf still has a lot to give ...
67% - 969 votes
No! It's time to move on ...
33% - 470 votes
Vote
Rand - Dollar
18.76
+1.4%
Rand - Pound
23.43
+0.3%
Rand - Euro
20.08
+0.2%
Rand - Aus dollar
12.25
+0.3%
Rand - Yen
0.12
+0.2%
Platinum
924.10
-0.0%
Palladium
959.00
+0.1%
Gold
2,337.68
0.0%
Silver
27.19
-0.0%
Brent Crude
89.50
+0.6%
Top 40
69,358
+1.3%
All Share
75,371
+1.4%
Resource 10
62,363
+0.4%
Industrial 25
103,903
+1.3%
Financial 15
16,161
+2.2%
All JSE data delayed by at least 15 minutes Iress logo
Editorial feedback and complaints

Contact the public editor with feedback for our journalists, complaints, queries or suggestions about articles on News24.

LEARN MORE