Every now and then, social media gets into a frenzy over a young girl who is dating an older man.
The conversation usually lasts for a week before people move on to the next big topic.
The truth about South African communities is that these stories are not new. We all know a girl or two growing up who were dating older men or a older, married men.
But it seems as though when these things come to light we are shook (every time) we make a noise on social media but nothing changes in reality.
A recent video of an 18-year-old believed to be in a relationship with an older man who allegedly is a pastor has been trending on social media.
Yes, people are upset over this horrendous act but the uproar will die down in a few days and life will move on as usual.
The young girl posted a video of herself in this man's car after having being gifted an iPhone 15 Pro max as a celebration of their four-year anniversary. Yes, you read that right.
They have been together for four years and the man is rumoured to be 40 years old.
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Woe to the man who grooms young girls for his own sexual pleasure or gain as you can imagine the power dynamic of that relationship is one sided.
When these situations are exposed we all act surprised as though these are new and not lived experiences from generation to generation.
People bash the men on social media but never hold them accountable in real life. With the rise of the 'soft life' presented by influencers who do the unthinkable for the latest bags, shoes and phones.
Young girls find themselves looking up to those women and sometimes its not because they come broken families or poor homes, they genuinely don't want to work a day in their life for a car if they can get a man to get it for them.
These are the kind of girls society is grooming. Regular girls with ordinary jobs are 'basic', people want glamour and an instagramable life instead of working towards their preferred lifestyle.
I love me some black women living in luxury and there are black women who have worked tirelessly hard for their luxury and so we celebrate them.
The likes of Jackie Aina who worked her way to the top. She has a huge following as a brand but you won't see her promoting getting your dream life through a man.
On the other hand, there are YouTubers who live lavishly through men and whom girls would rather imitate than work hard.
When it comes to holding older men accountable, it's simple: there needs to be consequences for their actions which ideally should be jail time and a hard beating before being convicted.
But can we be frank, we need to start holding these teenage girls accountable too. They need to do better.
Some of them are not victims, they choose that lifestyle because of they either want to be popular or be better than their peers.
Maybe I think like this because I am a late bloomer but to me 'i-stage' does not exist. People do things because bayaphapha and they need to be reeled in order very fast.
Parents need to be sterner, and those who are stern need to be more vigilant.
It's heartbreaking to see that this is what we have become as a people.
Listen, I love me some black women in luxury content, but you know what makes it even better? Knowing that the woman worked hard to get there.
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We have become so immoral as a society that we have blurred the lines between meeting a man who loves you and who happens to be rich and preying on a rich man for their money and posing that transactional relationship as the ideal romance.
In this generation, people's marriages are not respected, being a side-chick is glamourised.
Back in the day, it used to be taboo but nowadays women don't mind breaking families.
What I'm saying is, ideally, it would be great to live in a society where men are held liable for their disgusting acts so that there won't be young girls believing that it's okay for them to be with men old enough to be their fathers or grandfathers for material things.
Umfundisi needs to be locked up and that young girl needs to start behaving like a child. Any relationship that is like theirs needs to be reported and prohibited.
